So, last Saturday, Gramona was over while Eric was at work and Addison, bless her heart, wet through all of the pink sleepers.
So, around 3 a.m. Gramona put her in a blue sleeper and wrapped her in a blue blanket. When Eric got home around 4, he was tired and Gramona handed a hungry Addison to him and before she left, she said to him, "Here's Addison. Jackson is in bed with Nicole."
But a very tired Eric only saw all the blue and as he sat down to feed "the child," he told it all about baseball and how he and mommy would come watch "him play, and how "he" was going to be a pitcher....etc...etc....
Well, when Eric went to change "the child" after he fed it, he took the diaper off and said, "Jackson, where's your penis?"
At that point, he realized it was Addsion and that he needed much more sleep!
Monday, April 30, 2007
Rock Stars
The hats are from the Ross family and the cool sunglasses are from Gracia and Gayle. Addison and Jackson wore them on their first walk with Gramona. And we ran into the whole neighborhood it seemed. Gramona knows EVERYONE....but everybody said how cute the twins were, so that was really fun!
On Saturday, Rachel Crushshon hosted a shower at her house, along with Arlis. It was so sweet. It was women from church and I really felt like it was a family of people. I felt like these are people who have been praying for the twins long before they were born. I just felt so much support. And I was able to talk a little bit to Gayle, who I feel is a kindred spirit of mine. I feel like she knows exactly how I feel as a mom, and I didn't even have to say the words...she just understood.
I can't believe how time and again I am so overwhelmed by the kindness of others. Rachel's house was so cute in pink and blue for the twins and the food looked awesome!!! Melissa was there with Mathias and he is SO big! It just struck me that he is so healthy after all his mama went through. Babies are truly miracles.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Diaper Genie Boa
Again....dad hasn't had any sleep and he thought it would be fun to wear the diaper genie innards as a boa....it did make mommy laugh.....I must admit.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Photos
Addison, stressed out because she's wondering if her mommy will remember to feed her.
Dad and Jackson at Easter dinner,
and dad...a little loopy from lack of sleep!
Update after DKA
So, last Friday night, at around midnight, I started to vomit. Luckily Gramona was over taking care of the twins while Eric was at work. I knew I didn't feel good. I hadn't felt good since the twins were born, but I didn't know what was wrong.
That morning, I took Addison to the doctor because she had diarrhea...and I was SO thirsty all day. I drank so much and I could NOT quench my thirst. I must have had 10 frescas and Cherry Coke Zeros and a gallon of water and juice. It was ridiculous.
Anyway, my mom thought I was sick and just kept taking care of the twins until Eric got home from work.
When Eric got home about 4 a.m. I was still vomiting. He thought it was food poisoning. But, when, at 11 a.m. and I was still vomiting, he decided it wasn't food poisoning and he rushed me to the emergency room.
Good thing.
My blood sugar was well above 800. A normal blood sugar is between 80-120. I was admitted to the ICU and was pumped full of insulin for a couple days and my blood sugar was checked every hour. I had a chest x-ray and an ultrasound on my kidneys, liver and gall bladder. They weren't sure what what going on...lots of head scratches from the doctors. But once they got me hydrated and got the blood sugar numbers down into the 300s, they started making educated guesses.
No one is for sure if this incident, called DKA, is directly connected to the pregnancy, but I know it is. They started treating me for both Type I and Type II diabetes, because they don't know what will happen in a month or so when hopefully things in my body calm down. I was released on Tuesday night and saw another doctor on Thursday morning. She thinks my pancreas was attacked and because that's the organ that makes insulin, something went awry there. She's hopeful it will get better. At this point, I choose to believe her.
The last week has been really tough for me. All alone at night in the hospital last week, I thought for the first time that I was going to die. I just couldn't take any more of anything. I thought I had no fight left in me.
I started getting angry at Eric for wanting children because never in my history did I think I would be a mom. And I started getting angry at the twins for making me so sick. I wondered if I could ever love them. I started getting very "poor me."
I even wrote a letter to the twins in case I died.
I wanted them to know that I tried to love them the best I could, but I really wasn't given a chance to do that. I wanted them to know that I loved their daddy very much and I waited a long time for God to bring us together so we could start a family. I wanted them to know that they have lots of family and friends who pray for them and who love them and who will help their daddy raise them.
I wanted them to know that I wanted to be the kind of mother that always encouraged them in whatever they wanted to do. I wanted them to know that when things seem really bad, they will get better and life is mostly good. I wanted them to know that smiles heal most everything, as do hugs.
I wanted them to know that if all else fails, find Papa Bear and Gramona.
If you have a problem you can't work out by yourself, talk to Papa Bear. He'll listen without judgment and he'll help you figure out a plan. If that doesn't work, I wanted to tell them to crawl into Gramona's lap and she'll rock your troubles away. And she'll tell you about your mommy because she knows me.
BUT...I know I'm not going to die. And I know I can get through all of this. It's just way more than I bargained for and with my hormones, etc. still out of whack, I'm just not bouncing back as fast as usual.
I fed both twins yesterday morning, when Eric was trying to get some sleep after work and it was the first time that I only felt tired; physically and mentally I felt good. I told each of them that I loved them, and I think it was the first time I truly meant it.
My life seems so different from when this whole pregnancy began. I remember nine months ago thinking the worst thing I'd have to deal with was my nose getting bigger and stretch marks. I can only smile now at how silly that seems.
When I see pregnant women, I no longer have this happy feeling inside. It's mostly just dread of what could happen to their lives. But I'm sure, as time goes forward, that, too, will change.
I can NOT begin to thank all the people who helped take shifts with the twins. We are truly blessed. I can't repay everyone right now. But know I'll try.
But for now, I'm happy that I can check my blood sugar and give myself insulin shots and feel pretty good, knowing that I can do it, but I don't have to do it alone. I have an amazing husband who has been my rock. I thank God for him daily. I asked him if he regrets marrying me and having the twins. He looked at me like I was crazy and he said, "I took my wedding vows seriously."
Life if good. Right now, it's just a little annoying.
That morning, I took Addison to the doctor because she had diarrhea...and I was SO thirsty all day. I drank so much and I could NOT quench my thirst. I must have had 10 frescas and Cherry Coke Zeros and a gallon of water and juice. It was ridiculous.
Anyway, my mom thought I was sick and just kept taking care of the twins until Eric got home from work.
When Eric got home about 4 a.m. I was still vomiting. He thought it was food poisoning. But, when, at 11 a.m. and I was still vomiting, he decided it wasn't food poisoning and he rushed me to the emergency room.
Good thing.
My blood sugar was well above 800. A normal blood sugar is between 80-120. I was admitted to the ICU and was pumped full of insulin for a couple days and my blood sugar was checked every hour. I had a chest x-ray and an ultrasound on my kidneys, liver and gall bladder. They weren't sure what what going on...lots of head scratches from the doctors. But once they got me hydrated and got the blood sugar numbers down into the 300s, they started making educated guesses.
No one is for sure if this incident, called DKA, is directly connected to the pregnancy, but I know it is. They started treating me for both Type I and Type II diabetes, because they don't know what will happen in a month or so when hopefully things in my body calm down. I was released on Tuesday night and saw another doctor on Thursday morning. She thinks my pancreas was attacked and because that's the organ that makes insulin, something went awry there. She's hopeful it will get better. At this point, I choose to believe her.
The last week has been really tough for me. All alone at night in the hospital last week, I thought for the first time that I was going to die. I just couldn't take any more of anything. I thought I had no fight left in me.
I started getting angry at Eric for wanting children because never in my history did I think I would be a mom. And I started getting angry at the twins for making me so sick. I wondered if I could ever love them. I started getting very "poor me."
I even wrote a letter to the twins in case I died.
I wanted them to know that I tried to love them the best I could, but I really wasn't given a chance to do that. I wanted them to know that I loved their daddy very much and I waited a long time for God to bring us together so we could start a family. I wanted them to know that they have lots of family and friends who pray for them and who love them and who will help their daddy raise them.
I wanted them to know that I wanted to be the kind of mother that always encouraged them in whatever they wanted to do. I wanted them to know that when things seem really bad, they will get better and life is mostly good. I wanted them to know that smiles heal most everything, as do hugs.
I wanted them to know that if all else fails, find Papa Bear and Gramona.
If you have a problem you can't work out by yourself, talk to Papa Bear. He'll listen without judgment and he'll help you figure out a plan. If that doesn't work, I wanted to tell them to crawl into Gramona's lap and she'll rock your troubles away. And she'll tell you about your mommy because she knows me.
BUT...I know I'm not going to die. And I know I can get through all of this. It's just way more than I bargained for and with my hormones, etc. still out of whack, I'm just not bouncing back as fast as usual.
I fed both twins yesterday morning, when Eric was trying to get some sleep after work and it was the first time that I only felt tired; physically and mentally I felt good. I told each of them that I loved them, and I think it was the first time I truly meant it.
My life seems so different from when this whole pregnancy began. I remember nine months ago thinking the worst thing I'd have to deal with was my nose getting bigger and stretch marks. I can only smile now at how silly that seems.
When I see pregnant women, I no longer have this happy feeling inside. It's mostly just dread of what could happen to their lives. But I'm sure, as time goes forward, that, too, will change.
I can NOT begin to thank all the people who helped take shifts with the twins. We are truly blessed. I can't repay everyone right now. But know I'll try.
But for now, I'm happy that I can check my blood sugar and give myself insulin shots and feel pretty good, knowing that I can do it, but I don't have to do it alone. I have an amazing husband who has been my rock. I thank God for him daily. I asked him if he regrets marrying me and having the twins. He looked at me like I was crazy and he said, "I took my wedding vows seriously."
Life if good. Right now, it's just a little annoying.
Friday, April 06, 2007
We are all home together
So, it seems like an eternity since I've seen my blog. So much has happened. Jackson Ellsworth (my grandfather's name and my dad's middle name) and Addison Lois (Eric's mom's name) were born via C-section on March 28, 2007. Addison came first, and weighed in at 5 lbs. 10 ozs. Jackson was close behind and weighed in at 6 lbs, 1/2 oz. They were very healthy and didn't have to go on any breathing apparatus...I think. I'm not sure. I don't even know how long they were. I had a terrible time with it all.
Eric and I joke now that we didn't exactly pray for the right thing. We prayed only for two healthy babies. We forgot about mama. I was very sick during the C-section and also during the recovery. Two days after they were born, I developed preeclampsia, and had to go to a special recovery floor. The babies were in Eric's care and he was phenomenal. I stayed there for two days with an IV to try to bring down my blood pressure. It was pretty scary. On the sixth day, we were able to come home, but there was no rest on the seventh day.
It's all mostly a blur. People came to the hospital and I don't even remember talking to them.
Eric and I joke now that we didn't exactly pray for the right thing. We prayed only for two healthy babies. We forgot about mama. I was very sick during the C-section and also during the recovery. Two days after they were born, I developed preeclampsia, and had to go to a special recovery floor. The babies were in Eric's care and he was phenomenal. I stayed there for two days with an IV to try to bring down my blood pressure. It was pretty scary. On the sixth day, we were able to come home, but there was no rest on the seventh day.
It's all mostly a blur. People came to the hospital and I don't even remember talking to them.
The day we left the hospital, I remember thinking specifically that the world had changed so much in a week. It didn't seem so safe to me and I was instantly wondering how we were going to raise these children in this world. Eric drove so carefully on the way home as we both realized the weight of twins...the responsibility....the love...the challenges....the crying...the feedings....the scheduling.
It's very overwhelming to me, a first-time mom. My hormones are so out of whack and I cry at the drip of water it seems. Everyone says things will get easier. I believe them.
Eric worked last night and Gramona came over and saved the day! I was a wreck, but she kept things together for me.
One of a hundred million things I've learned this week is that moms are amazing people. I have gained so much respect for my mom. I'm 31 and she's still saving the day for me. When she had Marcus and me, her mom wasn't there to save the day for her. She's so strong and wonderful. I'm so blessed that Jackson and Addison will have time with her and Papa Bear, just like Selena, Juliana and Kyla.
And we are blessed to have Gramma Lois too. Eric said these two have the best grammas and grandpa in all the land. I have to agree.
Eric and I feel so blessed to have awesome family and friends and people that pray for us and the new family. Everytime someone has called to ask how things are going, they don't seem to mind that I'm crying as I say, "OK." Seems everyone has been there before.
So, here's to the new journey....the continuance of learning, the forgiveness of mistakes, the love of God and the joys of children.
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