Dear Addison and Jackson,
You made it through 18 months and you are amazing your dad and me everyday. I am still surprised by how much you occupy my thoughts - most of the time!
Addison, you are talking so well! Your favorite word right now is ribbit! You have a little frog washcloth. You go get it from the bathroom, carry it around and say, "ribbit!" You climb into your high chair all by yourself and you let us know it's time to eat. You call your brother Jack-see, which is so cute. And you love to share with him. When he's crying, you try to give him things to make him stop. Most of the time that works. But if you'd tried a few times and nothing works, you bite him. I guess you have your limits. You give the best good-night kisses and I look forward to them each day!
Jackson, my prince, you are such a daddy's boy. As long as he is in your sights, you are just fine. At night, you just sit on his belly, rest your chin on his knees and everyhing is wonderful. You aren't without your quirks. You won't eat lunch or dinner unless you have Goldfish on your tray. You don't necessarily eat the Goldfish, but as long as they are there, you are fine. Bizarre!
You and your sister love to blow kisses, but you actually keep them all to yourself. You keep your hand on your mouth the whole time. But I pretend that you are really giving them to me.
You use your words softly, almost as if you want to make sure you are perfect before you say them out loud and proud. It's very cute. You have really long hair; much longer than Addison's and your daddy doesn't want to cut it. You've only been mistaken for a girl a few times. When someone says, "Oh your the dad with twin girls," he says, "No, I have a daughter and a son with really good hair."
You play a winking game with me that I love! Even when you were sick a few weeks ago, you played the game and I knew you'd be OK. You aren't the cuddle kid I wished you'd be, but sometimes Addison snuggles with me and it makes my heart melt. You both love getting hugs from Raggedy Andy and he loves giving you guys hugs.
So, my loves, it's an incredible journey. Totally unpredictably amazing. Your dad and I hope you'll always love us and think we're the coolest. We'll be so crushed when you realize you are too cool for us.
We continue to pray that you'll be healthy and happy and always know that you are loved and God will always be there for you.
We love you to pieces and all together!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, August 08, 2008
Reunion
Last weekend, we had a family reunion of sorts with Eric's family...all the cousins and grandchildren were there. It was so much fun. The twins had a great time!
It's been a long time....Jackson loves to play the piano....it's the only thing he has the patience to do. He climbs up onto the piano bench and stands there tinkering away...staring at the picture from the twins baptism...slightly odd, but cool.
Addison is an adventurer...she climbs EVERYTHING! I swear I turned my head for 10 seconds and she had climbed the couch to the ledge to the window....they are such busy kids!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Kyla's party
This weekend we went to Kyla's third birthday party and Addison was all about the ice in the cooler. She would hold an ice cube in her hand for a long time. Eric and I kept thinking, Does she know it's cold?
Jackson was enamored of the wheels on everything...Kyla's new bike...the scooter...the stroller...interesting.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Good night Kisses!
Last night, when we put the twins to bed, we prayed with them as usual, and typically, Eric and I both make failed attempts for good night kisses. So, last night, I didn't even try. I just said good night to each of them and gave them kisses on the top of their heads.
I walked out of the nursery and then Eric said, "There giving out kisses. Hurry back!"
So I did! When I got back in there, I got good night kisses from both of them! I actually got two from Addison and got one from Jackson and then pushed my luck for a second and was denied....
But what a fabulous happy feeling when your babies give you kisses!!!! I love it!
I walked out of the nursery and then Eric said, "There giving out kisses. Hurry back!"
So I did! When I got back in there, I got good night kisses from both of them! I actually got two from Addison and got one from Jackson and then pushed my luck for a second and was denied....
But what a fabulous happy feeling when your babies give you kisses!!!! I love it!
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
An Angel
This morning, Eric and I took Addison to her 8th dermatologist about her leg. Dr. Bloom is a pediatric dermatologist and I wish we would have been able to go to him first. He examined her and told us the best news: It's not serious. Don't waste any more time worrying about it.
After that, I floated to the top of the examining room because I felt like a HUGE weight had been lifted. He did give us a diagnosis, and there is no treatment for it, but it's not serious. She'll always have the "birthmark," and that was just fine with Eric and me. He gave us a very thorough explanation and we have to have a follow up in six months, but, did you hear me: It's NOT serious!
It's so amazing. When the twins are in good health, the world seems light a wonderful place!
After that, I floated to the top of the examining room because I felt like a HUGE weight had been lifted. He did give us a diagnosis, and there is no treatment for it, but it's not serious. She'll always have the "birthmark," and that was just fine with Eric and me. He gave us a very thorough explanation and we have to have a follow up in six months, but, did you hear me: It's NOT serious!
It's so amazing. When the twins are in good health, the world seems light a wonderful place!
Saturday, July 05, 2008
4th of July
We had a picnic at Wirth Lake with all of the Harris families. It took Jackson a LONG time to warm up to the idea of the water....so strange, but Addison jumped in immediately. Jackson finally warmed up and they had a great time in the water!
Parade
Last week, we went to a parade with Grandma Lois and the Kirsch family. Addison danced to all the bands and Jackson wanted to be in every float! They were a handful, but so much fun. Addison LOVES watermelon and strawberries. Jackson loves airplanes and marshmellow mateys.
Life Is Good!
Monday, June 30, 2008
15 months
The twins are 15 months old now....and they are getting to be so much fun! They both LOVE the water. Eric and I just sit and laugh at them most of the time. They have such different personalities.
Addison is our confident little walker and she is very cautious. She uses the handrail when going up and down the steps and she usually likes a hand to hold the first time she goes down the slide, just until she gets the hang of it. She'll let us put a hat on her head (unlike her brother). She loves to sit and "read" books all by herself and Eric loves it when she reaches up to grab his hand. She says Ba-Bye! All Done, Uh-Oh, Hi and Hi Gibby (Hi Guinness) to every dog she sees. She's still a champion sleeper.
Jackson is impatient! He walks like he's already had a few too many and Eric calls him our "island boy" because he likes to walk around with no shoes! He throws his sippy cup when he's done with it...or not. At the park, he's leap before he looks and he skins his knees, gets up and keeps going. He is definitely a daddy's boy...when Eric leaves the room, he cries big crocodile tears. He loves to play with his bouncing ball and his laugh is so infectious. He hates to go to sleep and fights it to the end!
The last few months have been really fun. I'm enjoying motherhood much more. I think it's because the diabetes isn't running my life right now. I'm in a good place with it, so I can focus on other things. Each day, I'm so amazed by these two little humans.....when they are happy, I'm happy and the world is a magical place!
Addison is our confident little walker and she is very cautious. She uses the handrail when going up and down the steps and she usually likes a hand to hold the first time she goes down the slide, just until she gets the hang of it. She'll let us put a hat on her head (unlike her brother). She loves to sit and "read" books all by herself and Eric loves it when she reaches up to grab his hand. She says Ba-Bye! All Done, Uh-Oh, Hi and Hi Gibby (Hi Guinness) to every dog she sees. She's still a champion sleeper.
Jackson is impatient! He walks like he's already had a few too many and Eric calls him our "island boy" because he likes to walk around with no shoes! He throws his sippy cup when he's done with it...or not. At the park, he's leap before he looks and he skins his knees, gets up and keeps going. He is definitely a daddy's boy...when Eric leaves the room, he cries big crocodile tears. He loves to play with his bouncing ball and his laugh is so infectious. He hates to go to sleep and fights it to the end!
The last few months have been really fun. I'm enjoying motherhood much more. I think it's because the diabetes isn't running my life right now. I'm in a good place with it, so I can focus on other things. Each day, I'm so amazed by these two little humans.....when they are happy, I'm happy and the world is a magical place!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Grandma's
Eric finished Grandma's marathon under 4 hours, which was his goal! We are so proud of him. While the two of us were in Duluth, the Grandmas and PapaBear were with the twins for the weekend. They all enjoyed it SO much!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Oops!
So, the twins are 14 months old....you think we'd be able to tell them apart by now, right? Wrong. A couple weeks ago, Grandma Lois was babysitting during "date night," and when we got home, the twins were in bed, but Addison didn't have her blankie. So I asked Eric to go slide it into her crib. He did and when he came out, he was laughing. He said his mom put the twins in the wrong crib, but not to worry, he put the blankie right under AddiLo's cheek.
During the night, AddiLo started screaming....and we ignored her and she eventually went back to bed.
Well, in the morning, I went in to greet them and, to my surprise, they were in the right cribs, but Grandma Lois put the blue sleeper on Addison and the pink sleeper on Jackson! So Addison was without her blankie all night! No wonder she was mad!
During the night, AddiLo started screaming....and we ignored her and she eventually went back to bed.
Well, in the morning, I went in to greet them and, to my surprise, they were in the right cribs, but Grandma Lois put the blue sleeper on Addison and the pink sleeper on Jackson! So Addison was without her blankie all night! No wonder she was mad!
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Barack Obama
Dear Addison and Jackson.
There's no way to make you understand the significant event that happened this week. Your daddy and I have both explained it to you in different ways, but you;re too little to understand now.
On Tuesday night, a man named Barack Obama became the first Black person to become the Democratic nominee for the President of the United States. Someday you'll understand the significance of this.
It gives me so much hope. Hope that your futures will be bright. I'm hopeful that you two will be growing up in a time when you look at the President of the United States and notice that he looks like you and you see real possibility that you could one day be the President, if that's what you want to do. I'm hopeful because this means that all of the people that came before you and before me and before PapaBear, who fought so hard and so long for justice did not do their work in vain.
On Tuesday night, I couldn't even say his name more than twice without tears filling my eyes.
For me, it's not just about Obama
It's about Fannie Lou Hamer, Martin Luther King Jr, the 4 little girls, John Lewis, the freedom riders, Rosa Parks, Julia Harris and all the unnamed people who have STOOD UP for what was right after being beaten down time and again, but had the resolve to keep fighting.
This shows me, in my soul, that change IS possible, it just takes time. I can just see all of these people dancing in Heaven as they chant O-BAM-A!!!!!
Addison and Jackson, your daddy and I are hopeful that this is a good time to be raising children.
We love you GREAT BIG!
Mommy and Daddy
There's no way to make you understand the significant event that happened this week. Your daddy and I have both explained it to you in different ways, but you;re too little to understand now.
On Tuesday night, a man named Barack Obama became the first Black person to become the Democratic nominee for the President of the United States. Someday you'll understand the significance of this.
It gives me so much hope. Hope that your futures will be bright. I'm hopeful that you two will be growing up in a time when you look at the President of the United States and notice that he looks like you and you see real possibility that you could one day be the President, if that's what you want to do. I'm hopeful because this means that all of the people that came before you and before me and before PapaBear, who fought so hard and so long for justice did not do their work in vain.
On Tuesday night, I couldn't even say his name more than twice without tears filling my eyes.
For me, it's not just about Obama
It's about Fannie Lou Hamer, Martin Luther King Jr, the 4 little girls, John Lewis, the freedom riders, Rosa Parks, Julia Harris and all the unnamed people who have STOOD UP for what was right after being beaten down time and again, but had the resolve to keep fighting.
This shows me, in my soul, that change IS possible, it just takes time. I can just see all of these people dancing in Heaven as they chant O-BAM-A!!!!!
Addison and Jackson, your daddy and I are hopeful that this is a good time to be raising children.
We love you GREAT BIG!
Mommy and Daddy
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Daycare
So, Eric left for L.A. this morning and I took the twins to Shelly's house for the first of three days at daycare. I fully expected them to cry when I left and...heck...at least pretend that they were going to miss me. But they didn't! Shelly and I carried them into the house and they saw new toys and instantly forgot about me!
I don't usually get to wake them up on weekday mornings, because they get up after I leave for work, and boy, my day has been so bright because I got a chance to see them before work. I may have to sneak a peek at them each morning, because they remind me about my priorities!
I don't usually get to wake them up on weekday mornings, because they get up after I leave for work, and boy, my day has been so bright because I got a chance to see them before work. I may have to sneak a peek at them each morning, because they remind me about my priorities!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Mother's Day
So, my favorite picture from Mother's Day does not include any women.....usually Addison takes wonderful photos, but she was being a Diva and kept her little hood on all day. Jackson was all smiles, which was really fun. He loves the backyard and he was flailing about.
It was a wee-bit cold, but we did spend time outside. Jackson looks so stable in the picture. He almost looks like he's about to start running! 
Monday, May 12, 2008
Good Morning
Good Morning My Loves!
You were so tuckered out from a long day yesterday that you fell asleep in our arms. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful weekend.
Addison, you are such a confident little walker and very careful.
Jackson, you....aren't. You look like a tightrope walker in a Circus, always putting on a show. We're just never sure if you are going to make another step...and then you do, and we exhale.
Addison, you can say Hi Guinness now...I'm sure of it. But it comes out Hi Gibby. And last week, at the park, you just started walking away and your daddy thought for sure you would turn around and look for him, but you didn't. It was tough for daddy.
Jackson, your cousin Juliana gave you zerberts on your belly and you just giggled!! You are almost bigger than she is and you tried to return the favor and just knocked her over. You still have a smile that melts my heart because I know you're happy. And I love to watch you restlessly sleep and wonder what's got you thinking.
Have a great week my loves!
Mommy
You were so tuckered out from a long day yesterday that you fell asleep in our arms. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful weekend.
Addison, you are such a confident little walker and very careful.
Jackson, you....aren't. You look like a tightrope walker in a Circus, always putting on a show. We're just never sure if you are going to make another step...and then you do, and we exhale.
Addison, you can say Hi Guinness now...I'm sure of it. But it comes out Hi Gibby. And last week, at the park, you just started walking away and your daddy thought for sure you would turn around and look for him, but you didn't. It was tough for daddy.
Jackson, your cousin Juliana gave you zerberts on your belly and you just giggled!! You are almost bigger than she is and you tried to return the favor and just knocked her over. You still have a smile that melts my heart because I know you're happy. And I love to watch you restlessly sleep and wonder what's got you thinking.
Have a great week my loves!
Mommy
Addison's Thumb
So, Addison woke up yesterday morning with a swollen thumb and there was a blister on it. I freaked out, thinking she got it smashed in a door or something. She was screaming, so I immediately got the baby Advil...then, Eric and I thought we'd give her the ultimate test: we put a Goldfish on her high chair tray and she picked it up, with that thumb, just fine. We then realized that it was the way it was from sucking her thumb!! I hadn't noticed it before. But she is a champion thumb sucker...it's just crazy!
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Swings
This is tough for me to write because I'm so jealous! Eric took the twins to the park yesterday and they went in the swings for the first time. Eric said all he saw and heard was pure, unadulterated joy. In my mind's eye, I could totally see them, just giggling themselves to tears. I told him that next time, he better bring the video camera so I can see it myself!
Turnaround...finally
So, I get a message from Eric today. He finally turned the carseats around so they are facing the front. I've been trying to convince him to do that for awhile now. What made him do it? He said he looked at the twins and their feet and legs were all cramped with no place to go....um.....DUH!!!! So, they are on their way to the gym and I'm sure they are going to LOVE the ride.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
JACKSON Walks!
So, Jackson just decided that he didn't want his sister to one up him. The day after Addison walked, Jackson did too! Eric and I still call him the drunken sailor because he's SO not as stable as AddiLo, but he's funner than heck to watch! Eric had them out on the deck this week and Jackson just walked right off the deck....um, he doesn't know how to negotiate steps, but that didn't stop him...he just fell right onto the sidewalk. Addison doesn't even attempt the steps, not even when daddy put a couch pillow down so she wouldn't get hurt.
Addison says I love you....actually, it's more like ya YA ya. But it's definitely I love you. It's SO cute!
They took their first school bus ride on Sunday, at the MS Walk. They LOVED looking out the windows. I was freaking out because there were no carseats on the bus and just having them will-nilly was a new thing for mommy...but we all survived!
Addison says I love you....actually, it's more like ya YA ya. But it's definitely I love you. It's SO cute!
They took their first school bus ride on Sunday, at the MS Walk. They LOVED looking out the windows. I was freaking out because there were no carseats on the bus and just having them will-nilly was a new thing for mommy...but we all survived!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Addison WALKS!
So, 13 months, to the day, Addison got up on her feet and just started walking - to my amazement..to Eric's amazement. It was as if she said, "What? You didn't know I could do this?" And Jackson is still flinging himself forward for a few steps and then falling down. He just looks at Addison like, "How are you doing that?" He can still crawl much faster than she walks but it's pretty incredible. She's a little person now. We think the key to the walking is her new shoes. They are pink and silver running shoes...the cutest things ever. Her previous shoes had a putrid smell, because of which, we were calling her snaggle foot. But she's earned a new nickname...she's our walking princess.
We finally got a gate put in at the top of the stairs, so the twins can roam around on the hardwood floors. They LOVE the sound they can make on it. It sure beats the boring carpet that doesn't make any noise.
Last weekend was our first forray into the backyard now that they move. And it was quite a job for the parents! Every rock, stick, leaf, old piece of dog poop...went right into their mouths. Jackson found a hole and he just sat himself in it and giggled. It's a whole new world with them now. We are loving it!
We finally got a gate put in at the top of the stairs, so the twins can roam around on the hardwood floors. They LOVE the sound they can make on it. It sure beats the boring carpet that doesn't make any noise.
Last weekend was our first forray into the backyard now that they move. And it was quite a job for the parents! Every rock, stick, leaf, old piece of dog poop...went right into their mouths. Jackson found a hole and he just sat himself in it and giggled. It's a whole new world with them now. We are loving it!
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
The Blog Must Go On
Dear Addison:
Happy Birthday Sweetheart! On your first birthday, you were a beautiful princess. You wore the dress that your cousin Juliana wore at your mommy and daddy's wedding. You were very sociable and the happiest little girl in the world. You are a studier. You just sit and stare at people. I would love to know what you are thinking about. Both your daddy and I hope you stay happy like this forever. You are so smart. You are already so independent. You like to feed yourself and when you're done eating, you just spit out whatever is in your mouth. You love your glow worm and your "bankie" and thumb. If you have a bottle and your bankie is near by, it's hard for you to decide whether to drink the bottle or suck your thumb. You are our baby girl.
For the next year, I hope you continue exploring your world and continue to be so happy and I hope you always know that giving mommy and daddy hugs are the best gifts in the whole world!
Dear Jackson:
Happy Birthday! You are a little mover and shaker. You don't have time to sit still with so much new stuff to explore and destroy. You love to crawl and you are so fast. You've taken a few steps several times, but just enough to get your mommy and daddy all excited. You love to clap and throw balls to anyone who is willing to catch them. And you LOVE to swing! We think you should be getting dizzy, but you never do. You just giggle and your hair moves in the wind. You are such a little boy. You have a blankie, but it only seems like you have it because your sister has one. You can't quite seem to figure out why you have it. You're just like your mommy when it comes to sitting still: you can't! And you don't sleep well like your mommy too. You always have to be moving.
For the next year, I hope you learn to look before you leap...mostly so you don't get hurt and freak mommy out. I hope you keep your sense of humor, and, just like your sister, give mommy and daddy hugs cuz that's the best there is!
The twins are 1.....(insert gamut of emotions). We all made it, mostly intact. What I've learned in this one year is more than I've learned in the 30+ previous ones combined. There is one particular piece about being a mom that nobody shared with me, which I find most fascinating and frustrating. It's the whole notion that I've learned as much about myself as I have about the twins. The relationship you have with yourself becomes so much more intense and you realize that every action you have has critical reactions.
In the last few weeks, the twins have learned to wave, and to copy people coughing and to give kisses and hugs. And I've learned that they learn more ways to melt my heart each day.
They are already becoming little individuals and it's so fun to see them interact with each other now. They make each other giggle. They make each other cry. They make each other bleed...ok, there hasn't actually been blood, but Addison has bitten Jackson out of frustration and I just couldn't blame her.
Happy Birthday Sweetheart! On your first birthday, you were a beautiful princess. You wore the dress that your cousin Juliana wore at your mommy and daddy's wedding. You were very sociable and the happiest little girl in the world. You are a studier. You just sit and stare at people. I would love to know what you are thinking about. Both your daddy and I hope you stay happy like this forever. You are so smart. You are already so independent. You like to feed yourself and when you're done eating, you just spit out whatever is in your mouth. You love your glow worm and your "bankie" and thumb. If you have a bottle and your bankie is near by, it's hard for you to decide whether to drink the bottle or suck your thumb. You are our baby girl.
For the next year, I hope you continue exploring your world and continue to be so happy and I hope you always know that giving mommy and daddy hugs are the best gifts in the whole world!
Dear Jackson:
Happy Birthday! You are a little mover and shaker. You don't have time to sit still with so much new stuff to explore and destroy. You love to crawl and you are so fast. You've taken a few steps several times, but just enough to get your mommy and daddy all excited. You love to clap and throw balls to anyone who is willing to catch them. And you LOVE to swing! We think you should be getting dizzy, but you never do. You just giggle and your hair moves in the wind. You are such a little boy. You have a blankie, but it only seems like you have it because your sister has one. You can't quite seem to figure out why you have it. You're just like your mommy when it comes to sitting still: you can't! And you don't sleep well like your mommy too. You always have to be moving.
For the next year, I hope you learn to look before you leap...mostly so you don't get hurt and freak mommy out. I hope you keep your sense of humor, and, just like your sister, give mommy and daddy hugs cuz that's the best there is!
The twins are 1.....(insert gamut of emotions). We all made it, mostly intact. What I've learned in this one year is more than I've learned in the 30+ previous ones combined. There is one particular piece about being a mom that nobody shared with me, which I find most fascinating and frustrating. It's the whole notion that I've learned as much about myself as I have about the twins. The relationship you have with yourself becomes so much more intense and you realize that every action you have has critical reactions.
In the last few weeks, the twins have learned to wave, and to copy people coughing and to give kisses and hugs. And I've learned that they learn more ways to melt my heart each day.
They are already becoming little individuals and it's so fun to see them interact with each other now. They make each other giggle. They make each other cry. They make each other bleed...ok, there hasn't actually been blood, but Addison has bitten Jackson out of frustration and I just couldn't blame her.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Swimming Lessons
Daddy and twins at swimming lessons. Grandma Lois goes with them too. She's the photographer in this photo.
Dear Jackson and Addison
Good Morning My Loves.
This week was a tough one for your mommy. I've realized so many new things this week. I've realized that truly the only thing I want each of you to be is happy. AddiLo, when you giggle for no reason, it's the happiest sound I've ever heard. And Jackson, when you look at me and smile, it just melts my heart. You two are growing so fast right now. When we put you in your high chairs to eat, since you don't talk yet, you grunt and scream, trying to tell us that we need to feed you faster. Or you shake your little heads no if you don't like what we are giving you.
Jackson, you are going through a phase right now where you just scream and cry and fuss for no reason....for what your daddy and I think is no reason.
I never thought love could feel like this. I love the two of you so much it hurts. I'm sure you'll hear people say this, but until you have children, you won't fully understand...well, I didn't.
We took a walk yesterday and, admittedly, it was too cold, but AddiLo, you had your blanket and your thumb and you were such an angel.
Jackson, you were simply NOT having it! You screamed for half of the walk and you took off one shoe, one sock and both your mittens. Your face was filled with snot and we tried to give you a bottle, but that didn't work. I carried you. That didn't work. Then your daddy put you in his coat and that was the magic we were looking for. You were fine. And you shot me a grin and part of me wanted to scream, and the other part just melted.
Just so you know, this whole parenting thing is NOT easy.
But, it's worth it.
I love you to pieces and all together.
Mommy
This week was a tough one for your mommy. I've realized so many new things this week. I've realized that truly the only thing I want each of you to be is happy. AddiLo, when you giggle for no reason, it's the happiest sound I've ever heard. And Jackson, when you look at me and smile, it just melts my heart. You two are growing so fast right now. When we put you in your high chairs to eat, since you don't talk yet, you grunt and scream, trying to tell us that we need to feed you faster. Or you shake your little heads no if you don't like what we are giving you.
Jackson, you are going through a phase right now where you just scream and cry and fuss for no reason....for what your daddy and I think is no reason.
I never thought love could feel like this. I love the two of you so much it hurts. I'm sure you'll hear people say this, but until you have children, you won't fully understand...well, I didn't.
We took a walk yesterday and, admittedly, it was too cold, but AddiLo, you had your blanket and your thumb and you were such an angel.
Jackson, you were simply NOT having it! You screamed for half of the walk and you took off one shoe, one sock and both your mittens. Your face was filled with snot and we tried to give you a bottle, but that didn't work. I carried you. That didn't work. Then your daddy put you in his coat and that was the magic we were looking for. You were fine. And you shot me a grin and part of me wanted to scream, and the other part just melted.
Just so you know, this whole parenting thing is NOT easy.
But, it's worth it.
I love you to pieces and all together.
Mommy
Friday, February 29, 2008
Independence
AddiLo has changed SO much. She's walking all along the furniture and she is enjoying exploring new things. She especially enjoys exploring her voice and finding out all the sounds it makes and all the different pitches and volumes. She's gone from a daddy's little girl at class, to an outgoing little toddler who giggles at everything!!
And Jackson is just the opposite now. He climbs onto daddy's lap and just wants to be near him...he's not a cuddler, so he doesn't stay on daddy's lap...he just wants to be near him. And that breaks mommy's heart because of course, I want them to want me....Eric tries to reassure me that this is a phase...but he's with them so many more hours each day, so, of course they like him best right now.
It's all a learning experience. PapaBear always says we should enjoy the journey.....that's what we're trying to do.
We are giving them people food now and it's truly a hit and miss endeavor. Some days they get dramatic and vomit the food. Some days, they like it. Eric is grinding up adult food...I shouldn't call it "people" food, cuz, they are people.....
I'm going to Idaho for work next week and Eric is going to break their recent habit of getting up in the middle of the night for bottles. He's much more patient than I am....let's hope it works!
And Jackson is just the opposite now. He climbs onto daddy's lap and just wants to be near him...he's not a cuddler, so he doesn't stay on daddy's lap...he just wants to be near him. And that breaks mommy's heart because of course, I want them to want me....Eric tries to reassure me that this is a phase...but he's with them so many more hours each day, so, of course they like him best right now.
It's all a learning experience. PapaBear always says we should enjoy the journey.....that's what we're trying to do.
We are giving them people food now and it's truly a hit and miss endeavor. Some days they get dramatic and vomit the food. Some days, they like it. Eric is grinding up adult food...I shouldn't call it "people" food, cuz, they are people.....
I'm going to Idaho for work next week and Eric is going to break their recent habit of getting up in the middle of the night for bottles. He's much more patient than I am....let's hope it works!
Mice from Japan...and swearing.
So, Grammona, who shall now be renamed Mamo, went on a trip last week to San Fransico and the twins got their first-ever postcards! It was really fun to get them in the mail. And Mamo brought over gifts for the twins - little mice-shaped cars that were painted red and blue. She said she got them at a store in Japan Town in Los Angeles. It was really sweet. The next morning, I got this email from Eric:
I was thinking it last night but did not want to rain on the parade....But, Jackson just opened his mouth and what did I find but the red mouse tail in there just chilling on his tongue. That means he is a cat right?
Not going to play with the fun, lead paint, rusty wheel (tetinus), cute real Japan made, with no regulation mice........ we love you grandma mona.
But, Jackson is OK and then, later that day, we found out that the book she gave to Selena had swear words in it.....Mamo did say she was drinking hot sake at a sushi house with Bob and Mike...maybe that's where she went wrong (smile!)
I was thinking it last night but did not want to rain on the parade....But, Jackson just opened his mouth and what did I find but the red mouse tail in there just chilling on his tongue. That means he is a cat right?
Not going to play with the fun, lead paint, rusty wheel (tetinus), cute real Japan made, with no regulation mice........ we love you grandma mona.
But, Jackson is OK and then, later that day, we found out that the book she gave to Selena had swear words in it.....Mamo did say she was drinking hot sake at a sushi house with Bob and Mike...maybe that's where she went wrong (smile!)
Friday, February 22, 2008
Things I want Jackson and Addison to know
Every once in awhile, usually when I'm holding a sleeping baby, I think the world just stops and there's no other place I'd rather be. I just wish I could hold the twins in my arms forever and they would never be hurt or hurt anyone else. There are so many things I want them to remember so their lives are pain free. But then, on the other hand, obstacles make people stronger. I'm torn. I don't want them to ever feel pain, but I want them to have their hearts broken so they know they can get through it and find love again.
I want them to strike out a few times so the homeruns are that much sweeter.
I want them to set goals and really work for them, so when they reach them, they are that much more proud of themselves.....BUT I also want to cuddle them in my arms until they are all grown up so nothing hurts them - ever.....I guess, the bottom line is that they are growing and there will be bumps in the road. The best Eric and I can do is to make sure they know that we are always here for them...no matter what.
I want them to strike out a few times so the homeruns are that much sweeter.
I want them to set goals and really work for them, so when they reach them, they are that much more proud of themselves.....BUT I also want to cuddle them in my arms until they are all grown up so nothing hurts them - ever.....I guess, the bottom line is that they are growing and there will be bumps in the road. The best Eric and I can do is to make sure they know that we are always here for them...no matter what.
Shingles
So, I found on Tuesday that I have Shingles....great! What else can this stupid Diabetes help me get!? I was so frustrated...to put it mildly. I was mostly frustrated because Annemarie and Megs were coming this weekend and we were giving Annemarie a surprise baby shower. And Annemarie's sister was flying in from D.C. to surprise her. We had everything planned out and people from all over the country sent gifts to our house for Baby Roberts.
Needless to say, she had to cancel her trip....and we told her about the surprise.
The twins will most likely get chicken pox now...we're on the look out for little red bumps. So far, we don't think we've seen any.
I'm amazed at how painful shingles are. I'm supposed to rest, and I just smile, like, "For real?" Eric has been wonderful about it...as usual. But I feel so guilty if I'm taking a nap and resting when the twins are here and ready to play.
I was so bummed on Wednesday night, which was Eric's birthday, that I took my eyes off Jackson for a few seconds and he leaped off the changing table and got lodged horizontally between the changing table and AddiLo's crib. I screamed for Eric and then just started sobbing. It wasn't my best "mommy" moment at all.
But things are slowly getting better. Jackson stands up on his own...WAY COOL! And Addison walks behind a little truck thing like she's been doing it for months. I think they'll both be walking by their birthday and Addison will have at least one top tooth by then too.
Time is truly flying by!
Needless to say, she had to cancel her trip....and we told her about the surprise.
The twins will most likely get chicken pox now...we're on the look out for little red bumps. So far, we don't think we've seen any.
I'm amazed at how painful shingles are. I'm supposed to rest, and I just smile, like, "For real?" Eric has been wonderful about it...as usual. But I feel so guilty if I'm taking a nap and resting when the twins are here and ready to play.
I was so bummed on Wednesday night, which was Eric's birthday, that I took my eyes off Jackson for a few seconds and he leaped off the changing table and got lodged horizontally between the changing table and AddiLo's crib. I screamed for Eric and then just started sobbing. It wasn't my best "mommy" moment at all.
But things are slowly getting better. Jackson stands up on his own...WAY COOL! And Addison walks behind a little truck thing like she's been doing it for months. I think they'll both be walking by their birthday and Addison will have at least one top tooth by then too.
Time is truly flying by!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
JDRF
Last month, Team Zajkowski, a group of more than 20 people, joined Eric, the twins and me at the Mall of America for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation's Walk for a Cure. A cure for Type I, or Jevenile, diabetes. It was AMAZING
! There were more than 18,000 people there, all walking to find a cure for this stupid, frustrating disease. 
I was truly overwhelmed.
It's my hope that a viable cure will be found soon so that Jackson and Addison won't even remember that their mommy was ever sick. It's going to happen!
! There were more than 18,000 people there, all walking to find a cure for this stupid, frustrating disease. 
I was truly overwhelmed.It's my hope that a viable cure will be found soon so that Jackson and Addison won't even remember that their mommy was ever sick. It's going to happen!
Swimming Lessons
So, the twins are taking swimming lessons with Eric and Lois. Yesterday was their second lesson and they LOVE it!!! Eric said he's never seen them SO happy! They just giggle uncontrollably. I think it's so neat! Jackson is so tired after the lessons, that he falls asleep in the locker room when Eric is changing him. Next week, I'm taking Friday off, so I'll get to go. I can't wait! Addison has a little bikini and she looks like a sumo wrestler. It's SO cute!!!!
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Caucus
So, Jackson and Addison went to their first caucus last night...and it was a doozy! Eric and I thought we would just zip in and zip out. Boy were we wrong! When we got to the line, it wasn't even a line anymore...it was just a huge gaggle of people. We were jam packed in a hallway, waiting to vote. We never did get into the caucus. We signed up on blank pieces of paper and cast our ballot in the hallway. Luckily the twins were great! Addison just stared at everyone, like "O.K...I get it. You people are crazy, but you're crazy for a good reason." Jackson just charmed the ladies....along with Bear, who was there with his parents. It was amazing to see so many people.
**********
On Monday, Eric took Jackson to the doctor because we thought for sure he had an ear infection. He was SCREAMING all night long...for several nights. But, when Eric took him in, there was nothing wrong. Our pediatrician, who, for those of you who watch Project Runway, is a spitting image of Tim Gunn, gave Jackson a lecture. He said sternly, "Jackson, I demand that you sleep through the night tonight. You are driving your parents crazy and they need sleep."
It worked! Maybe I should have taped his voice and replayed it for Jackson.
*********
I got an email from Eric today that said Jacskon bumped his chin and his top teeth went into his bottom lip and there was lots of blood. But not to worry, says Eric, this is the first of thousands.
.....breathe Nicole....just breathe....
**********
On Monday, Eric took Jackson to the doctor because we thought for sure he had an ear infection. He was SCREAMING all night long...for several nights. But, when Eric took him in, there was nothing wrong. Our pediatrician, who, for those of you who watch Project Runway, is a spitting image of Tim Gunn, gave Jackson a lecture. He said sternly, "Jackson, I demand that you sleep through the night tonight. You are driving your parents crazy and they need sleep."
It worked! Maybe I should have taped his voice and replayed it for Jackson.
*********
I got an email from Eric today that said Jacskon bumped his chin and his top teeth went into his bottom lip and there was lots of blood. But not to worry, says Eric, this is the first of thousands.
.....breathe Nicole....just breathe....
Monday, January 28, 2008
10-month update
Wow! The twins are 10 months old today. I was thinking about how much they have grown in that time and, just as important, how much I have grown in that time. I can NOT believe how much our lives have changed! At this point, it's so hard to remember what life was like before the twins. I must have had oodles of time to do things.
In 10 months, I've learned that I am capable of so many more things that I originally thought. I've impressed and surprised myself on numerous occasions.
I've learned that my priorities have changed almost instantly, as did my goals.
I've learned that, even if I had a million years to spend with the twins, I'd never be able to tell them everything that I want to. So, I've decided that making sure I tell them "I love you" each day will have to be enough.
I've learned that when parents say they don't have a favorite, they are being honest. I love Jackson and Addison the same amount, just differently at times (I asked Eric is he had a favorite. He said, "Yes. Whatever kid sleeps through the night.")
I've learned that even the best laid plans don't mean a thing when you have kids.
I've learned that Grandmas are amazing people and the importance of family.
I've learned that all relationships take work and even when you want to walk away, it's definitely worth it to stay and fight for it.
I've learned that being a mom is the most indescribable thing in the world.
In 10 months, I've learned that I am capable of so many more things that I originally thought. I've impressed and surprised myself on numerous occasions.
I've learned that my priorities have changed almost instantly, as did my goals.
I've learned that, even if I had a million years to spend with the twins, I'd never be able to tell them everything that I want to. So, I've decided that making sure I tell them "I love you" each day will have to be enough.
I've learned that when parents say they don't have a favorite, they are being honest. I love Jackson and Addison the same amount, just differently at times (I asked Eric is he had a favorite. He said, "Yes. Whatever kid sleeps through the night.")
I've learned that even the best laid plans don't mean a thing when you have kids.
I've learned that Grandmas are amazing people and the importance of family.
I've learned that all relationships take work and even when you want to walk away, it's definitely worth it to stay and fight for it.
I've learned that being a mom is the most indescribable thing in the world.
Addison is the best medicine
So, today I was really sick....really sick. I left work and didn't think I was going to make it home kind of sick. When I got home, I washed my hands several times and tried not to get everyone else sick...but they already were.
Anyway, after we fed the twins and were having family time (after we give them a bottle around 7, it's family cuddle time) Addison, who usually falls asleep instantly, turned to face me and put her nose right up against my nose and started to giggle. It was so cute! She made me smile and laugh and remember that this is what life is all about!
....that was, of course, after Jackson held her down and bit her face....she has bite marks to prove it....you win some, you lose some....
Anyway, after we fed the twins and were having family time (after we give them a bottle around 7, it's family cuddle time) Addison, who usually falls asleep instantly, turned to face me and put her nose right up against my nose and started to giggle. It was so cute! She made me smile and laugh and remember that this is what life is all about!
....that was, of course, after Jackson held her down and bit her face....she has bite marks to prove it....you win some, you lose some....
Friday, January 25, 2008
Stockings
Grandma Lois makes stockings for each new member of the family. This year, she had to make two; one for Jackson and one for Addison. She worked really hard on them and each of them are symbolic. Jackson's has a baseball bat for PapaBear and a football and a jersey with Eric's old football number.
Addison has a Swedish crown (I can't think of the name of it...don't hate me Lois) for part of her ancestry, a handful of flowers to remind her of her Grandma Lois and a pair of red shoes, because Grandma Lois said, "Every girl needs a pair of red shoes." And Grandma Lois said there is a mistake in Addison's stocking and that's OK because nobody is perfect.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Christmas photo
Here are the Miller great-grandchildren (on couch from left to right): Selena, Jackson, Juliana, Kyla, KatieBell, Naydene, Hope. On the floor...oh golly. I can't tell Trevor and Tyler apart, but it's the two of them with Addison in the middle.
Chicago
OK...it has been FOR EVER since I've updated the blog...I don't even know where to begin...so much has happened.....each day is like a whole new world where the twins learn new things. They aren't the same kids that they were two weeks ago. It's truly amazing how much learning humans do in that first year! Kind of makes you HOPE you don't mess them up too badly....
Last Saturday, when the actual temp was somewhere around negative 10 degrees, we took the twins to the Mall of America for a diabetes walk. It was pretty amazing to see all of those people there, all walking for a cure...or in the twins' case, strolling for a cure. Team Zajkowski had 20 members! It was wonderful. I felt so empowered. I know there is going to be a cure in my lifetime and hopefully, Jackson and Addison won't even know I had to deal with this crazy nonesense!
I'm in Chicago right now for a sales compensation class. I miss the twins terribly!!! I'm going to be away until Friday. My stomach is all upset and I'm sure it's because I'm missing part of me. I actually shed real tears when I left them on Tuesday. They won't even know I'm gone, but I will.
Eric has the help of both grandmas, so he'll be good. Even if he was alone with them, as he is everyday, he'd be good. I'm the one who is suffering and, strangely enough, I feel guilty...wasn't prepared for that emotion!!! I didn't sleep well last night. Hopefully tonight is better.
********
I am going to rat myself out here, but I have to share. I often tell Eric that he can update the blog too, but he never does. Well, a few weeks ago, I was on the computer at home and I saw a file called "Daddy's journal." I opened it. And it was a journal that Eric is keeping, written to the twins about them growing up. It made me cry. I was so moved by it. I had no idea he felt the way he wrote about some things. It just made me love him even more.
That's all for now. I'm going to try to post a picture of all 10 Miller great-grandchildren that my mom sent to me. It was from Christmas....but she just got it to me....new camera...she didn't know how to use it...I'm just proud of her for figuring it out!
*********
On MLK Jr. day, I was thinking about where I was a year ago. I was giving a speech...very pregnant, and I was so out of breath, Eric was worried that I wouldn't be able to get through it. I remember referencing the twins, in a very abstract way....I didn't know who they were going to be yet. Now, since they are real humans, the importance of the Civil Rights movement, justice and fighting for what's right now so future generations are "better," means more to me than ever.
Here's to wonderful todays, and even more wonderful tomorrows!
Last Saturday, when the actual temp was somewhere around negative 10 degrees, we took the twins to the Mall of America for a diabetes walk. It was pretty amazing to see all of those people there, all walking for a cure...or in the twins' case, strolling for a cure. Team Zajkowski had 20 members! It was wonderful. I felt so empowered. I know there is going to be a cure in my lifetime and hopefully, Jackson and Addison won't even know I had to deal with this crazy nonesense!
I'm in Chicago right now for a sales compensation class. I miss the twins terribly!!! I'm going to be away until Friday. My stomach is all upset and I'm sure it's because I'm missing part of me. I actually shed real tears when I left them on Tuesday. They won't even know I'm gone, but I will.
Eric has the help of both grandmas, so he'll be good. Even if he was alone with them, as he is everyday, he'd be good. I'm the one who is suffering and, strangely enough, I feel guilty...wasn't prepared for that emotion!!! I didn't sleep well last night. Hopefully tonight is better.
********
I am going to rat myself out here, but I have to share. I often tell Eric that he can update the blog too, but he never does. Well, a few weeks ago, I was on the computer at home and I saw a file called "Daddy's journal." I opened it. And it was a journal that Eric is keeping, written to the twins about them growing up. It made me cry. I was so moved by it. I had no idea he felt the way he wrote about some things. It just made me love him even more.
That's all for now. I'm going to try to post a picture of all 10 Miller great-grandchildren that my mom sent to me. It was from Christmas....but she just got it to me....new camera...she didn't know how to use it...I'm just proud of her for figuring it out!
*********
On MLK Jr. day, I was thinking about where I was a year ago. I was giving a speech...very pregnant, and I was so out of breath, Eric was worried that I wouldn't be able to get through it. I remember referencing the twins, in a very abstract way....I didn't know who they were going to be yet. Now, since they are real humans, the importance of the Civil Rights movement, justice and fighting for what's right now so future generations are "better," means more to me than ever.
Here's to wonderful todays, and even more wonderful tomorrows!
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
9-month Update
The twins had their 9-month well-baby visit last week….and how ironic, since they were both sick!
Jackson is in the 25th percentile for both height and weight (21 pounds, 27.5 inches). Addison is in the 90th percentile for height and weight (21 pounds, 12 oz, 28 inches).
They both got blood drawn and Jackson was successfully distracted by the dancing plant that the lab technician had. He didn’t even notice the needle pricking him. Addison, on the other hand, screamed so dramatically the moment the needle was exposed! Eric and I flipped for who got who during the blood draw. Clearly I lost!
Jackson is in the 25th percentile for both height and weight (21 pounds, 27.5 inches). Addison is in the 90th percentile for height and weight (21 pounds, 12 oz, 28 inches).
They both got blood drawn and Jackson was successfully distracted by the dancing plant that the lab technician had. He didn’t even notice the needle pricking him. Addison, on the other hand, screamed so dramatically the moment the needle was exposed! Eric and I flipped for who got who during the blood draw. Clearly I lost!
Happy New Year
Happy New Year! It’s been so long….I’ve missed the whole holiday season and it was quite wonderful! The twins were troopers as we lugged them from celebration to celebration. On Christmas Eve, they were among 10 Miller great grand children and another set of twins. It was wonderfully wild! Eric and I realized that AddiLo and Jackson could have been given wrapping paper wrapped in wrapping paper and that would have made them quite happy! All the toys they got…so what! They weren’t into their gifts….mostly. AddiLo did fall in love with her Glow Worm. It’s strange, you can never predict what they’ll like.
We spent several hours on New Year’s Day with Jackson at the emergency room. He was given three nebulizer treatments and they sent us home with a nebulizer and steroids and antibiotics. They never told us conclusively what he has, but there’s nothing you can do for most if it anyway. So that was stressful.
Both kids slept through the night last night!!!!! That was HUGE! One of them has been sick, it seems, since Thanksgiving, so I hope this is a sign that they are both well again!
Jackson is crawling like a maniac and just today, he climbed up three steps for daddy!!! And AddiLo is starting to crawl now too. They are so fun.
They’ve both learned to stand up in their cribs, which they do each night when we put them to bed. They talk to each other for an hour or so and then, eventually fall asleep. Jackson is biting his crib now. The first night he did it, he gave himself a bloody lip and was so thrilled with himself! Too funny!
We spent several hours on New Year’s Day with Jackson at the emergency room. He was given three nebulizer treatments and they sent us home with a nebulizer and steroids and antibiotics. They never told us conclusively what he has, but there’s nothing you can do for most if it anyway. So that was stressful.
Both kids slept through the night last night!!!!! That was HUGE! One of them has been sick, it seems, since Thanksgiving, so I hope this is a sign that they are both well again!
Jackson is crawling like a maniac and just today, he climbed up three steps for daddy!!! And AddiLo is starting to crawl now too. They are so fun.
They’ve both learned to stand up in their cribs, which they do each night when we put them to bed. They talk to each other for an hour or so and then, eventually fall asleep. Jackson is biting his crib now. The first night he did it, he gave himself a bloody lip and was so thrilled with himself! Too funny!
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