Back on Track

Last night, the twins slept through the night again!!!!! (Insert hugely loud cheers from mom and dad!!) I didn't even realize it until I went into the fridge this morning and there were two bottles there. Hopefully this means that they are back in their groove and no longer sick. That would be fabulous! Eric fed them mac and cheese yesterday which they liked. And today they had peaches chunks, so we are moving forward.
Last night, after they were fed and changed and ready for bed, they were making each other laugh! It was so much fun to watch! Addison was in the jumper from Marcus and Shelly and Jackson was in the exersaucer. They laughed until Addison smooshed Jackson's finger between the two....but it was so much fun while it lasted.

Christmas Tradition

So, Eric, the twins and I were doing some Christmas shopping yesterday and as we were driving, with Christmas music playing on the radio, I turned to Eric and asked if he had any traditions that he's like to start with our family. He said, "Mmmm. Good question." I was thinking of something sentimental, of course, and then Eric said, "Each Christmas morning, before they open any of their gifts, they have to run down the block in just their shorts."
The look on my face must have been as shocking as I felt, because Eric said, "What?"
Strangely, I thought he would have said something else.

Incredible Infants

Yesterday, Eric started and ECFE class with the twins called Incredible Infants. It's two hours each Wednesday and they loved it! Eric said it was a mecca of toys and the twins had a ball! Jackson crawled all over the place and Eric said he would go up to other kids and look at them like, "Hmmm. You're not my sister...and then crawl away." They sang songs and Addison looked at herself in a mirror, pointed and giggled. She was a daddy's girl for the most part, though. She stayed on his lap. Eric enjoyed the time with the "ladies," as he's the only man, and he got some tips on where to hang out in the winter months.
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Addison had her worst night ever last night. She SCREAMED when we set her down in her crib. She was fine if we were holding her up, but not when we laid her down. The moms I work with think she has an ear infection. Hopefully we'll find out and she can get better. This whole sick kids thing is taking its toll.

Croup Baby Croup

So....I had to take the day off from work on Friday because both twins were sick. Eric and I took them to the doctor and they have croup...great. What can we do about it? Nothing! No medication. Our doctor thinks it's better for them if they can fight it off themselves with their little immune systems. So, we are giving them juice and we had a sauna with them in the bathroom each night and they are so cuddly. Jackson takes a shower with Eric and just lays his head on Eric's shoulder. I think the worst of it is over...I hope...cuz it ain't no fun for noone! Grammona came over on Saturday and helped with bedtime because Eric went to the Timberwolves game. They slept really well Saturday night, except for when Eric came home and woke them up. Their noses are so raw and Jackson, who has it much worse, is hoarse....poor baby boy. He's beginning to smile again, which makes me think that he's getting better. He fights sleep so much already....and now he's coughing himself awake. Doesn't help that he has six teeth now....4 on top....Addison still just has the two on the bottom. But she is talking like there's no tomorrow. In church she was "singing" so loudly that Grammona had to take her out of the sanctuary.
It was a tough weekend, and just as I was leaving for work this morning, about 6:20, both kids were up and screaming.....here's to a happy Monday!

Update

So, Jackson woke up on Saturday with a rash on his chest and the whole front of his torso. It freaked me out, obviously. But Eric said not to worry about it, cuz it was probably from his wet diaper. Why did I believe him? Probably because I wanted everything to be fine. Well, later that day, I was changing his clothes and found that the rash was on his entire back and face! At this point it was snowing wildly and Eric was out getting his haircut. I called the nurse line and she suggested that we take him to Urgent Care. I called Eric's cell phone a few times and he didn't answer. So I found the number of the place where he was getting his hair cut and called. I said, no lie: "Is there a bearded man there getting his haircut? This is his wife and I need to talk to him."
The woman was like, "Um, does he have a name?"
It didn't even occur to me to use his name. That's how stressed I was.
He came home, with some Baby Benadryl, and we gave it to him and we watched him and he went to sleep and woke up on Sunday with the same rash, no worse, but no better. He and Eric stayed home from church and later that day, he got a fever....so I got even MORE freaked out and I realized that I just should have taken him in.
Fast forward to this morning: Eric said Jackson woke up and was much better. No fever and he's smiling.
Addison is doing something new that is bizarre. Whenever you lay her on the changing table, she arches her back and SCREAMS at the top of her lungs! Obviously, the first time she did it, I thought something horrible was wrong....so I picked her up and as soon as I did, she stopped screaming. So now, I think we've just learned to change her diaper at the speed of light. I'm going to need some ear plugs soon, just to preserve my hearing!
I'm noticing that Eric and I are definitely a team. Every set of parents is a team. Parenting is such a strange thing. You really can never truly be prepared for it, and when it's multiplied by two, as in our case, you realize that there aren't any "do overs" with the next kids, cuz we aren't having any. The decisions Eric and I make, will effect the twins so readily and instantly. It's a bit odd how great a responsibility it is. It seems some people are just more equipped than others.
I'm constantly impressed by Eric and I learn more about him, through his parenting, everyday. I'm impressed by myself too. I've learned that my insane organization is a both a blessing and a curse, but it's truly who I am. I've learned that Eric's patience is a blessing and a curse, but it's who he is. And I think we've both learned how much our senses of humor attracted us to one another...we make each other laugh several times a day and that's been a saving grace.
So....the journey continues.....Addison and Jackson, I hope you understand the depth our our love for you and that we are consumed with thought of you each day. We always want to do the best we can for you and maybe you won't understand until you have your own children, but even in the worst of times, when all you do is cry, we always want the best for you.

Two Nights and Green Beans

So, last night was the second night in a row that the twins have slept through the night! For a couple months, at least one of them would get up in the middle of the night and that was really frustrating for Eric and me. But we upped their dinner, so maybe the extra food has helped them sleep. We aren't giving them bottles after dinner...just more food.
And Eric had a great idea of making our own baby food in the Magic Bullet....so we tried greeen beans last night and, I think fresh green beans are more flavorful than the Gerber green beans because Addison was NOT having it! And, of course, she let us know in the most dramatic fashion. I thought she was choking....she freaked me out....but, she just didn't like the green beans, so her daddy fixed her a new bowl of oatmeal and nanas....she LOVED that. She just looked at me and grinned, like, "Ha! My daddy loves me!!!"

What a Difference a Year Makes

It was one year ago today that Eric and I found out we were having twins. What a crazy year! I can’t believe the time has gone by so fast and I can’t believe how much our lives have truly changed. I knew it would be a lot of work before they were born. I wasn’t prepared for them…that’s a given. But now, I certainly can NOT imagine life without them. They have taught me to get my priorities in order. They have taught me to smile more, to be more confident, to really understand that each action I take has a reaction, that I can never run out of hug or kisses and that Eric and I have grown in our relationship and discovered new pieces of each other that we didn’t even know we didn’t know about. I wish there were more words to describe things. I feel like I use the same ones over and over, like amazing and crazy and wonderful. Each day brings with it a host of new issues, new problems to solve and new reasons to smile from ear to ear. I’ve learned to stop and smell the roses and that each day is truly a blessing and that I am awesomely blessed!

Sinus Infection

Jackson has a sinus infection. I knew he was sick and getting worse. He's had a cough for a couple weeks, and he was MISERABLE on Wednesday night, so I finally took him in on Friday. He has a sinus infection...which is odd, because Dr. R said infants his age don't even have sinuses...but that's what they call it...whatever. He's on Omoxycillan, and he seems to be getting better. He finally slept through the night on Saturday and on Sunday, he was much happier, except during the 30 minutes that we tried to have family pictures taken.....NEITHER twin smiled.....it was torture. But, we did get our family picture taken and it's OK....not the greatest, but the twins' outfits were adorable....can't say the same for their smiles....o, well

Crib Drama

So, this weekend, while the twins were supposed to be napping, and Eric was hanging the wreath on the front door, I heard Addison screaming! It wasn't a normal scream, so I went into the nursery and her legs were sticking out of the crib, between the slats...and she was STUCK!!! I screamed for Eric, who came running, wreath in tow, to help me. I couldn't get my baby girl's chubby thighs unstuck!! Eric was able to, and then, a traumatized Addison did NOT want to go back into the crib and I couldn't blame her.
I put breathable bumpers on the cribs, to make myself feel better about them suffocating themselves. And, it's been great, but for the fact that Addison can easily move these bumpers, apparently, and get her legs stuck......this parenting thing is al;ways changing........

Jackson Crawled!

So, Jackson has been propelling himself backwards and forwards for weeks now, and I've been telling people that he's crawling, to Eric's dismay. Eric thinks he hasn't officially been crawling because he isn't doing the standard "drawl." He's been so fun to watch because when he wants to get to point B from point A, we just never quite know how he's going to get himself there, or how many times he'll get frustrated and cry on the little journey.
But last night, right before bedtime, we were all in the family room hanging out, getting ready for bed, actually discussing whether Jackson was going to crawl for real or just head straight to walking, and out of the blue, Jackson starts crawling...for real...like a normal little baby!!
Eric and I looked at each other with gaping mouths! It was so cool! Then, of course, we wanted him to keep doing it, and he wouldn't. Then, of cousre, I started freaking out because our house is NOT child proof yet....and I just don't want him to get hurt.

Banned from the gym

Jackson and Addison have been banned from going to childcare at the gym! The women love them there, but they both have crazy coughs, so they can't go back until either they don't have a cough anymore or they have a doctor's note. Eric said the childcare workers were so apologetic about the ban, but we're glad they take precautions because it means they are serious about the childrens' health.
Eric called the doctor and there isn't much we can do....if they are worse by Friday, then we can take them in, but truly, the virus has to run its course. Frustrating.

Showers

Both Jackson and Addison took their first showers this weekend with daddy (Mommy is still irrationally too nervous to do anything near water with the twins). They LOVED it! Jackson's shower was need-based. He, how shall I put it kindly, pooped all over himself and I was dry heaving so badly that Eric said, "Just let me bring him in the shower." So he did and Jackson just loved getting his face wet. The next day, Addison got to take a shower cuz we didn't want her to feel left out...she loved it too. It was pretty cute seeing them in the shower, with the water falling on them for the first time and watching them try to figure out what was going on.
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Addison is the happiest baby we have ever seen! She smiles incessantly and we both hope she remains this way forever. Nothing puts a smile on my face faster than seeing one on hers.
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Jackson, bless his heart, is such a boy. Rough and tumble with everything. Unlike his sister, who studies everything, he jumps feet first and fast. But yesterday, Eric noticed him hunched over one of the spinning balls on the Exersaucer. He was trying his hardest to figure it out....probably thinking, "I just don't get it. Why does Addison love this. It doesn't make any sense to me and I can't throw it on the floor."
He is getting top teeth now, so he's pretty miserable.....but he still has a smile that melts my heart!

Stroller Derby

Poor AddiLo...and daddy! Yesterday, after a nice, long walk in the beautiful weather, Eric was pulling the stroller into the driveway and all of a sudden, Addison had finagled out of her straps and she had fallen face first into the pavement....screaming!
Eric said it was really tough seeing his baby girl laying there, helpless. He picked her up, dusted her off, and assessed the damage. Her nose was scraped and bleeding.....(she now looks like Rudolph, the red nosed reindeer....just in time for Christmas pictures. Guess we'll just go with it and strap some antlers onto her head)....and she has a purple bruise on her forehead. Eric called the doctor and then me.....she is OK...still smiling at her daddy....her hero.
The women at the gym, in childcare, asked Eric if I had seen her. When he told them no, they told him that I was going to kill him! I didn't. I met he and the twins at Grandma Lois's house for a fabulous dinner and she was fine....Eric needed a bigger hug than AddiLo.
I'm just glad the first accident is on Eric....takes the pressure off me......

Tough transition for Mommy

So, I was gone for 12 hours yesterday...since I took the new job in Anoka, I'm actually working - a lot - which is a good thing, but when I got home last night, I was so frustrated and upset because I missed my babies so much!!! I took it out on Eric, which wasn't fair I know. And the fact that it's dark when I leave in the morning and dark when I get home doesn't help either.
By the time I get home, Eric is craving adult interaction and conversation....I'm wanting to not talk anymore. It was a rough night....but hopefully we'll get it all figured out.
Bottom line: we are trying to do the best we can for the Zajkowski family....we're bound to hit some bumps.

New things!

Jackson stood up last night! I missed it, but PapaBear, Eric and Jackson were watching the Colts and Pats and Jackson grabbed Eric's leg and pulled himself up and stood for about 10 seconds, says daddy. GO Yackson!!!!
And Miss Addison is rolling around! She rolled over on the changing table yesterday and that's a feat for her! They are changing so fast!
Oh yeah, during church yesterday...during a quiet moment...Jackson let out a HUGE burp....people turned to look and Grammona, who was holding him at the time, pointed at Jackson, to make sure people didn't think it was her!

Veggies...finally!

We figured out how to get them to eat their veggies! Mix them in with the fruit! Um, duh, right?! They have eaten bananas and carrots and applesauce and sweet potatoes. They are just lapping it up, which makes us SO happy!

The Guzzler

My my my! Jackson has been SO hungry!!! It's pretty much ridiculous! He woke up a few hours after we put him to bed last night and was screaming! Eric and I jump out of bed and I yelled, "Get the Tylenol!" Don't ask me why...I just assumed that the way he was screaming, he MUST have been sick. Well, we gave him the Tylenol, and then we thought, "Mmmm....maybe he's hungry?" So we got a bottle and he guzzled it down and he looked at us like, "Are you kidding me people? We've been together for almost 7 months now and you don't know my hungry cry yet? Haven't we had this conversation before? Am I going to have to step it up a notch? Geez! Next time, don't give me that nasty medicine....just feed me!"
He passed out right after he ate...only to wake up screaming a few hours later! He must be going through a growth spurt.
And what was little Miss Addison doing? Sleeping soundly. She's still a champion sleeper....thank goodness!!

Happy Hallahappy!

Jackson and Addison had a whirlwind of a first Halloween. We went to Grandma Lois's house and surprised her. Then we took the twins to both of her neighbors' houses. Then we went to Deb's house and saw she and Bonnie. Then we went to Uncle Moe's house and had to basically wake him up! But he did rustle up some candy. Then we went to Grammona and PapaBear's house and by that time, the twins, a lion and an angel (who everyone thought was a princess) were hungry! So we fed them....and they ate really well! Grammona gave them Biter Biscuits, 2nd foods and a water slide/pool for next summer. Addison tore into her Biter Biscuits...she really liked it!
Eric ate enough candy for both of us because I couldn't have any...what a trooper....he even carved two pumpkins with the twins yesterday. One had an A carved into it...the other a J....very cute.
BUT do we have any pictures? No...I stopped on the way home and bought film for the SLR, but, for some reason, it wasn't working when we tried to load the film. Then, on the way to Grandma Lois's house, we stopped to get batteries for the digital camera (Eric forgot to charge the rechargable batteries because the dryer broke and he was distracted by the repair man, Big John). When we turned the camera on, there was no memory card in it....so, we hope Auntie Shelly and Grandma Lois got some good pics that we can post.

When we left Grammona and PapaBear's house last night to go home, Kyla went to the door and said, "Happy Hallahappy!" She was the cutest ladybug ever. Juliana was a cow girl and Selena was a witch...way too grown up for Auntie Cole! She had makeup on and everything!

Update

So, Eric walked into the nursery this morning and Jackson was sitting up, playing with the turtle! For a couple weeks, I've been telling Eric that we need to move Jackson's crib mattress down because, before we know it, he's going to be standing up. So, Eric calls me this morning and says, "Um, I think we need to move the crib mattress down." Funny!
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Addison has a tooth!!! Grammona found it Sunday when we stopped at their house on our walk. But as soon as she found it, Addison wouldn't open her mouth again so anyone else could see it.....it was so funny. It's like she knew we all wanted to see it and she totally played us!!!
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Jackson was sick all weekend. He has a horrible cough and he had a fever. We talked to the nurses' line and we even made an appt. for him on Sunday night for Monday morning, but there were no pediatricians at the clinic on Monday...isn't that unreal. So we made an appt. with a family practice doc, but when he woke up Monday morning, his fever was gone...and I was sick! But then last night, he was miserable again...didn't sleep much, so mommy and daddy didn't sleep much either! Hopefully Eric will take him in today.
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They do not like any vegetables or chicken or lasagna!!! And they are totally dramatic about it....dry heaving and vomiting. It's actually quite histerical! Eric and I try to fake them out and throw in a spoonful of veggies during the fruit, but they are too smart....and after that, Addison won't open her mouth at all...she just purses her lips....again, these kids are too funny!

Changes

Addison was such a champion sleeper. Yes, I said WAS.....it used to be that once we put her in her crib and laid her magic blanket on her, she would pop her thumb in her mouth and be knocked out. Well, not this week. She's been so fussy and such a drooler!!! Yesterday I changed her onesie right before we went to the gym because it was soaked with drool and when we picked her up from childcare, her "new" onesie was completely soaked!!
Maybe she's getting teeth, maybe she's getting more constipated. Eric had to use a babylax on her last night....hard, hard poop nuggets came out....she didn't cry, but she was able to eat after that.
She grunts all day long. It's like we have a bear in the carseat when we go places. I had to turn down the radio to listen to her last night...it made Eric and me giggle.
Eric took her to the doctor on Tuesday because she has this rash-type-thing on her eyelids. Dr. R. said it's probably dermititis, but he doesn't want to treat it because it's too close to her eye. It doesn't seem to be bothering her, so we'll just keep watching it.
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Jackson is into screaming! I think he just likes the sound of his own voice. And he loves to be held by mommy (cuz daddy believes in tough love) and when I put him down, he just whines. So, of course, I think I'm doing something wrong...am I doing something wrong? Have I held him too much? Am I spoiling him?
I can't change him on the changing table anymore because he flips over so fast and I can't get the diaper on him fast enough...and he thinks it's a game so he smiles and giglles at mommy's frustration. I just don't have the patience for it. I usually start and then I yell for Eric to come help me.
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We can't get them to eat any vegetables. We've tried green beens, carrots and sweet potatoes. No go. They like mangos, applesauce, bananas and prunes with apples. If we start them with fruit, they won't even eat the oatmeal. It's tough trying to figure it all out.
We have their Halloween costumes....Addison will be an angel and Jackson will be a lion. I think Eric and I are way more excited about it than they are. But, I must say that Halloween is fast falling out of favor as my favorite holiday since I can't eat any candy....how cruel! Good thing we have the twins as a distraction!
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This is Eric's second week as a full-time, stay-at-home daddy. He seems to be holding up well.....keep your fingers crossed!!!

Update from Daddy

Monday: 9:35 a.m.
So, Addison has learned that if you shake the rattle tamborine like dad, it makes fun noise. Jackson has not learned that if Addison is swinging the cedar wood rattle that he should not stick his head under the "music maker"....Jackson has been assaulted by Addison and it was a good crack and very funny. She is still shaking the rattle...Jackson is not crying anymore.

October 22, 2007

Gosh...where to begin. Addison rolled over!!! Yeah! It's so funny how short my memory is with the twins. When Jackson started to roll over, he would get stuck on his tummy and start to cry. Well, Addison, Champion Sleeper, was being fussy after about 15 minutes after I put her down, which was strange. I went into the nursery and she was stuck on her tummy! I was so proud! Grammona got to see her do it too....so did Eric.
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They sat in the cart at Costco....next to each other, just like big kids! Jackson was so interested in bugging his sister....holding her hand....touching her hair....giggling at her. And Addison was NOT having it. She just started to sob. Poor baby girl!
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Jackson was SO hot yesterday....we found out he had a temperature....101. Eric had to take his temperature, because the darn thermometer just frustrates the heck out of me. It's Celcius!!!! Eric has a converter on his phone, so he can do it without much frustration. Anyway, it really freaked me out. I whipped out the "What to expect the first year" book and reading that, plus Eric's calmness, helped to calm my fears. Jackson (and mommy) got extra cuddles, some baby Tylenol, and he went to sleep....with his new snuggle toy, Baby Guinness, a stuffed puppy that he has to sleep with.
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I found out on Friday that Annemarie and Andy are pregnant! They are SO excited. She just wants a healthy baby - boy or girl. And I told her I want a healthy mama...cuz that's important too.
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Today is our 2nd Wedding Anniversary. We've packed a lot into two years. Eric jokes and says, "We have two kids and one chronic disease. We don't waste any time." I just hope that this is an uneventful year.
BUT, I must admit, God is still good. Everyday. And I'm embracing a new quote: "It's not about waiting for the storm to be over, it's about learning to dance in the rain." And if I have to, I'll take dance lessons!

We're SUCH new parents

Monday night, around 2 a.m., Addison woke up and started screaming! It's unusual for her to wake up in the middle of the night because she's such a good sleeper. She had huge crocodile tears and everything. It was so sad. So, Eric and I tried playing detective, to figure out what was wrong with our typically smiley girl. We assumed she was teething, because Jackson now has two teeth, plus, when Eric put his finger in her mouth, she screamed even louder. So, we got out the baby Orajel and slathered that on, thinking she'd settle down....NOPE. So, Eric got some baby Tylenol and gave that to her and then we decided she must be hungry. So Eric fed her. That helped a bit, but she didn't drink the whole bottle. She eventually went back to bed.
Tuesday morning, I asked Eric if she had pooped. He thought about it and couldn't remember that she had. So, that afternoon he gave her a baby laxative and.....low and behold....that was the problem!
Poor baby girl.
She was so stopped up. Eric said she pooped out big, chicken-nugget-lookin chunks. Eric was so amazed by the poop, that he saved them for me to see after work....um, no need to save them sweetheart, I believe you.
And after that, we had our smiley daughter back.

You know you're tired when....

You wake up at 3 a.m. with your head stuck to the pillow and your hand stuck to the remote with the gum that was in your mouth when you fell asleep and you have to have your husband cut the gum out of your hair and it leaves a little bald spot. And, when you get to work, you itch your shoulder and there is STILL gum there.
Nice.

Things that make me smile

Addison giggling histerically when Eric kisses her neck
Snuggling with Jackson as he naps next to me and our noses touch
The twins reaching for us when we come near them
Knowing that Addison is comforted by a blankie
Seeing how gentle Kyla and Juliana are with the twins, even though they can't tell them apart yet(smile!)
Watching Papa Bear hold an intrigued Addison for a quarter at a football game
Noticing Guinness trying to lick the twins' faces clean after they eat
Learning that Eric is such a sweet, gentle daddy and that he was made for this role
Knowing that I can recall any of these in my mind at any time and it still makes my heart smile

Update

SO much has happened!!! The twins took their first trip out of state! We went to David Walsh’s wedding in Kansas City and the twins got to meet mommy’s college friends, which was very cool! They were so entertaining and entertained! I think Annemarie got baby fever for sure! Her husband, Andy, took a liking to Addison ’s baby blanket on “the morning after.” He had a tough night and he looked hilarious cuddled up to it!

Grammona and PapaBear came with us…we rented a minivan….and they were wonderful nannies! We brought two jumpers: one that goes on the floor and one that attaches to the molding above a door jamb. We had hotel rooms across from one another and we just kept the doors open and put one of them in the doorway in the jumper. They loved it!

Sometime during the weekend, Jackson got a tooth!!!! Again, never thought I’d be SO excited about a tooth, but we all were. The "nannies" took them for walks in the stroller and even gave them baths. They were very well taken care of. I think, when they got home, they wondered where the magical grandparents went!
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Six Month Well Baby visit
The twins are growing. Eric and I both thought Addison would be at least 20 pounds, but she was only 19. And Jackson was 18. He is 26 inches long, which puts him around the 50th percentile in both height and weight. Addison is 26.5 inches long, which puts her in the 90th percentile for weight and the 75th percentile for height. Dr. Robinovitch said to start them on real food.....so we did. We started with peaches and Jackson LOVED them...he was smackin' his lips and everything. Addison was so dramatic about not liking them....she would gag and them, when mommy didn't get the hint that she didn't like them, she actually dry heaved. It was too much! But, the next day, she loved them and Jackson gagged.....I need a manual!
They each got three shots and the rotovirus liquid, which they lapped up! I helped Addison for her shots. I tried to be brave, but, when her smile turned into a frown, and tears rolled down her little cheeks, it was too much for me to handle. But they both...we all...recovered by the time we left. Dr. R thinks her hemangioma is getting better, but we'll still watch it. He said both of them are progressing nicely and they passed the Austism screening....which we didn't even know was happening.
All in all, we have all survived the first half of the first year of their lives. It's totally amazing how fast the time has flown by! Each night, when we pray with the twins, I'm amazed that we are so blessed. I try to tell myself to really cherish each healthy day, but to assure myself that we can handle anything that comes our way.

Facing my fear

So, I finally gave the twins baths by myself! I was so proud! I went to Babies R Us and bought this cup that kind of molds itself to their heads so you can't get water in their eyes when you rinse their hair. Eric thinks it's totally pointless, but I say, if it helps me get over my fear, then it's worth the four dollars!
I started with Addison because she's not as wiggly and I washed her hair with baby shampoo and I accidentally got water in her eyes, but she didn't cry, and she wasn't hurt, so that totally empowered me. I got her all lotioned up and changed into jammies and then it was Jackson's turn. Man, does that kid move! He was so slippery...I got nervous near the end (of the 30-second bath) and I probably missed some parts, but he was clean...for the most part.
I was so pleased with myself that I texted Eric and told him!
But, within 30 minutes, they were all dirty again from the oatmeal.....o, well. I had two clean kids for a minute.
Baby steps....

Big Scary Dogs

Last night, Eric, Guiness, the twins and I went for a typical evening walk. It was beautiful weather.
Eric LOVES dogs...of all kinds. We noticed two HUGE dogs in the distance and Eric was totally intrigued by them.
I told him he could go check them out and that I would stay with the twins and Guinness. So, he jogged over to them and started chatting with the friendly owner. The dogs were English Mastiffs. Diesel was over 200 pounds! And Brooklyn was about 130 pounds. Well, when the smaller of the two noticed Guinness, he tugged on his leash and the owner was preoccupied, so she dropped the leash and the dog comes charging toward me, Guinness and the twins!!! I was scared speechless and stiff. I couldn't move a muscle.
Eric screamed, "Let Guiness go!! Move the stroller!"
I did.
Before either the owner or Eric could reach us, Guiness and the dog started "playing." They rammed into the twins' stroller, and sent it 360ing in the street. Luckily there were no cars and no one was hurt or bitten. But it was very loud and chaotic and my heart was beating SO fast. I was frightened!!
THEN.....we met a woman in her 50s who is a twin. Her twin is a boy and her mom had 3 sets of boy/girl twins and then two singleton children!!!! That woman is either a saint, or a nutcase!!! The woman we ran into, Bev, runs a daycare just blocks from our house. We asked if she had any room. She didn't, but she said she'd keep us posted.
What an adventure!

What's in a Name

Eric and I have been calling the twins by different names. We haven't really shortened their given names....when we refer to them, it's usually by Jackson and Addison or AddiLo....but we do call them some pretty funny things...at least it's funny to other people when they hear us and say, "What?"
I call Addison “Pitty Yady Geel" (Pretty Lady) most of the time, or Gorjis (gorgeous) and Eric calls her "Beautuful." One of my favorite things is hearing him say, "Good Morning Beautiful!" to her when he wakes her up. He has been calling Jackson Yackson and Mr. Wiggles and I call him HaBUDdy (derived from Hi Buddy). With my ADD, I say HaBUDdy over and over and over until he just starts giggling. Eric thinks there is definitely something wrong with me....he's probably right!
Grammona calls them JackSONE and AddiLo
PapaBear calls them Jackson and Attison
Uncle Marcus calls Jackson L3 (for Ellsworth...since he's the third Ellsworth) and he calls Addison Little Mama.
Grandma Lois called Addison her Special Girl and she calls them both LilaVen....its Swedish and I don't know how to spell it.
I wonder what they'll call each other...hopefully nice things!

Weekly Update

Weekly Update

I haven't written in here in so long....over a week, which is a LONG time in the life of twins. Last Friday, the twins went to two high school football games, and last Wednesday they went to a swim meet. At the meet, Addison stared intently at the swimmers, like, "OK. I get it. I can do this." And Jackson just ate his toes!
Addison went to the doctor for the rash on her face and we found out she weighs 17.5 pounds! She's definitely healthy.
Jackson started crawling....not totally, but he propelled himself forward this weekend without using his face! We were so proud!
I know I said don't believe what you read, but I was reading about kids who have trouble eating, and it suggested that we try feeding them in the morning, NOT in the evening, when they are really tired.....DUH! Wish I would have thought of that! Jackson has actually eaten his breakfast for the past three days!!! It's been lovely. For the first bite, he makes a crazy face, like, "What is this?" Then, when he realizes it's yummy, he gets all extra excited and squeals!
Funny story: Their natural bedtime is around 8 p.m....no matter when they've eaten prior to that, they are ready for the bedtime bottle at 8. So, the other night, Jackson fell asleep in his vibrating chair and I was debating whether to wake him and feed him or just put him to bed. I decided to wake him up, so I gently touched him arm and whispered, "Jackson," and he was SO startled! He jumped wide awake and started screaming. Of course I jumped and then Addison looked at me and she saw the horrified look on my face and she started screaming.......
Addison is a blankey girl! She is calmed when she has a blanket to hold when she's sucking her thumb. It's so fun! Jacskon still loves his "passy." He can't quite figure out yet how to get his thumb in his mouth.
Jackson is teething...we think! He was crying all night. I finally decided to cuddle him because he was having such a hard time. Then, I remembered that cousin Michelle gave us some Baby Orajel and said that was helpful. So, I found it at 3 a.m. and put some on his gums. He make another crazy face and started to scream!!!! I cuddled him and he seemed to settle down, but not entirely. I cuddled him the rest of the night.....so hopefully he got some sleep, because mommy didn't. But Addison slept....which is good. When one is fussy, the other one is usually good.

Concert

So, a couple nights ago, I put on a concert for the twins. I was playing the piano and singing from the Bible song books. Of course, I couldn't carry a tune if it was in my pocket, but I thought the twins wouldn't mind. Jackson, who, for this concert, was my favorite child, just giggled and smiled and couldn't wait for me to serenade him with another song...and another.
But, miss princess, on the other hand, didn't even crack a smile. She sat there and stared at me, like, "Are you serious? This is tonight's entertainment? Wow. I'm so unimpressed. Let me know when some real talent gets here."
She never did enjoy it, but Jackson was, so I just ignored her and kept going.
I do believe I saw a smile from her when I finally stopped.

Daddy's good intentions

So, the twins got an old-school jumper from Eric's friends last week. You know, the kind that you attach to the molding above a door and they can go nuts! Well, of course Jackson took to it right away! He was doing 360s and then urping, and then doing more 360s, and more urping....he was just smiling! We decided we needed more room for them to jump around, so Eric rigged some "molding" about the archway-type place between the kitchen and livingroom...but instead of removing Addison from the swing he just left her in it and unhooked it to move it. While doing so, he smacked her face into the wall! She, of course, started to scream and daddy felt bad! But she quickly seemed to forget about it when it was time to eat.
Well, this morning, Eric called me and said, "You know how when you clip their nails, you hear a click when you get the nail. Well, this morning, I was clipping Addison's nails and I heard a squish." He clipped the top of her finger off....bled all over her dress and Jackson.....fun stuff!
I guess we're even, because this weekend, I was changing Jackson on the changing table, and he moves so much! He wacked his head on the edge of the wood and then, as I was trying to console him, I accidentally poked him in the eye....I don't think Eric and I will get gold stars for parenting this week.
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I read that, when you are feeding babies, to make sure they keep their hands out of their mouths, give them an extra spoon to keep their hands occupied. Well, I tried that with Addison last night and she just kept putting the spoon in her mouth and looking at me like, "Look lady. Is this a mean trick or something? Where's the food!?!?"
So, I guess you can't try everything you read.
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Grammona and I took them for a walk last night and they sat face forward in the stroller! They looked like such big kids!!!! They were both looking around at everything, just trying to take it all in. It was a new view for them. And a new view for mommy. I was so used to staring at them as we walked. Now, they face the world and not mommy.....I guess they just keep growing up!

Weekly Update

Action Jackson
He is a mover and a shaker! I watched him roll onto his tummy last night. And finally, instead of getting frustrated, he flipped himself back onto his back. But that startled him so much he started to cry! It was like he was shocked that he could do it! He still has the cough, but I'm finally realizing that it IS normal. He still won't eat the rice cereal though...gotta get that all figured out! He's drooling still and spitting up too. He still averaged 4 or 5 different outfits a day if we forget the bibs. He likes to grab the tubing on my insulin pump and my hair. He went on his first ride with daddy at the Mall of America. The Merry go Round. Of course, he urped...must be his sign of approval. But, as always, his smile melts my heart.
AddiLo
She eats like a champion! The other night, I made rice cereal for both of them. He didn't eat his, so I gave it to Addison, and she ate it...plus her bottle! She hasn't tried to turn over yet. I think she knows that if she needs to get anywhere, mommy and daddy are at her beck and call. She is a fantastic sleeper! She's so great at soothing herself to sleep. She sucks her thumb and, even though I give her a NUK every night, when I go into check on them an hour after I put them down, the NUK is laying on the sheet and her thumb is in its place. She has gotten a batch of baby acne, which isn't pretty. It's so strange....hopefully it'll go away soon. Of course, I thought it was the Ebola virus, but, I was reassured that it's just baby acne and that's normal. She loves to make noises and she has started to giggle when daddy kisses her neck. She's our little princess!

It's just amazing to me, how each day they become more a part of me. I crave cuddling them and when I hug them, I'm almost brought to tears by the shear joy of knowing they are mine and they are healthy. They are growing so fast. I'm getting better about bathtime, even when Jackson pees in the water. It's very odd, but I think I understand the magnitude of God more now that I have children. I trust in Him more and rely on Him more and realize His grace in my life. Even with everything the past five months have brought to the Zajkowski home, I'm thankful.
For all that has been, Thanks!
For all the shall be, YES!

Whooping Cough

So, Eric and I are back at the gym (I'm on a week hiatus because of the insulin pump). We found one that takes infants and they change their diapers and feed them! It's been great.
Jackson and Addison even have their pictures up on the wall....with a blurb that says, "Our parents are exhausted." It's cute. People keep referring to Eric and me as "the twins' parents." I think that will become our new name!
Anyway, last week, Jackson got this crazy bad cough...atleast that's how his crazy mom sees it. Eric took him to the doctor last Friday, but not our regular doc. So, of course, I thought this quack didn't know what he was talking about. Jackson's cough hasn't gotten any better, so yesterday, I told Eric to call Dr. Robinovitch and tell him that his wife is paranoid, but it sounds like Jackson has whooping cough...yes, I said whooping cough.
When I got home yesterday, Eric said that he didn't call Dr. Robinovitch, because he saw him at the gym. And he asked about Jackson's cough. Dr. R said that daycares are breeding grounds for germs and it's normal....so, I guess he doesn't have the whooping cough.

Jumparoo

Last night, Jackson and Addison got a Rainforest Jumparoo from Auntie Packie and Janel. I put it together...Eric gave up....and then Jackson tried it. He really enjoyed it....once we got the height right on it. He' marks his territory with spit up, like a dog does with urine....so, when he urped all over it - and himself - we knew he liked it!
We thought, what the heck, let's try putting Addison in it, and to our shock, she liked it. All the toys on the top kept her occupied for awhile....she was happy, so I went to put some laundry in the washing machine. When I came back, she was asleep!!!!! It was so funny. I guess those few bounces were enough for our little princess!

Luck of the Irish

On Saturday, Deb and I took the twins to get photos taken. Eric didn't know they were going to be wearing Notre Dame outfits...if he did, he would have had a fit because he's a Canes fan. The look on his face, when he saw the proofs, was so worth it!!

Jackson, a.k.a. Mr. Wiggles is such a little mover. He's learned to roll over and Eric claims that he actually crawled yesterday, but I didn't see it. He does mash his head into the ground and then scoot himself along the carpet. I swear he's going to have a big rug burn on his forehead. He just wants to be moving so much! He gets so frustrated when he gets stuck!! I think he'll be a handful really soon! But, last night, he ate the rice cereal! I mixed it a little thicker for Addison and thought, what the heck, and gave a spoonful to Jackson. He ate it, so I gave him more...and he liked it! I am realizing that it is a myth that they sleep through the night because of it though. He was up at 5 a.m. and Miss AddiLo was NOT.

She is not even worried about trying to move. I think she knows that if she needs something, mommy and daddy will come a runnin'. She's a little smartie pants for sure. If you lay her down on her back, she'll just stay there. If she wants to move, she'll cry. We'll pick her up or reposition her, and then she stops. Man, she's already got us!

During the storm last night, I brought them both into the basement with my insulin and a flashlight and rocked Jackson while Addison slept on her back on a blanket on the floor. They were startled everytime the thunder rattled our house, but they both stayed asleep...they made it through the storm better than mommy!

Feeding Fiasco

So, I was all pumped up to try feeding the twins rice cereal last night.
But, I think, by the time we got home from the pharmacy, they were just too hungry to try something new (my blood sugar monitor died, so the manufacturer called the pharmacy for a replacement. All I was supposed to have to do was pick it up, but, of course they didn’t know what I was talking about, yada, yada, yada).
I used the high chair that Rachel gave us, which tilts back, so the twins could lean back a little bit, and not have to try to hold their heads up and eat, which would be way too much new.
I mixed the rice cereal with formula, using the 4 to 1 ratio, like the instruction said.
I started with Jackson, because he was crying the loudest and he was NOT having it! He took one look at the spoon and if he could have talked, I’m sure he would have said to me: “Um, what kind of bottle nipple is this? I’m so hungry and you are trying something new? Can you not tell what my hungry cry is yet? Well, let me do it a little louder and maybe you’ll understand. Look, mom, I have had enough drama today, rolling over from my back to my tummy and then getting stuck. I certainly don’t need this crazy new way to eat. Just give me my bottle!”
So, after a couple of spoonfuls that ended up all over everything but his mouth, I just gave him his bottle. He looked very thankful. I don’t think it helped that his dinner music was provided by Addison’s screaming.
Sorry Jackson.
With Addison, I decided the high chair was not going to happen, so I just held her. But, I gave her the bottle first, to take the edge off her hunger. Then I tried the spoon. She gave it the same crazy look as Jackson, but once it touched her lips, she was all good! She lapped it up like a pro! I was so excited. She kept eating and I would alternate the food with the bottle. Then, I decided that she had had enough. I mean, she finished the whole bottle, plus the food. I thought for sure she’d sleep well into the morning. It was 7:30 p.m. when I started the whole feeding fiasco
Um, no! The little princess got up at 3 a.m. and sucked down another bottle….like she was starving!?
But Jackson slept until 6 a.m……go figure!
I guess I’ll try again tonight.

Parakeets

So, Eric and I thought we had two human babies, but lately, we are really wondering if that's the case. AddiLo and Jackson have started to really enjoy the sounds of their own noises, and they sound like dueling parakeets....little yelps and noises...it's totally bizarre! The first time I heard it, I thought they were fussing, but when I went to check, they were both smiling and making these very odd noises. They vary in pitch and volume and pattern.....these dueling birds take turns and they get louder and louder with each round! It's actually pretty funny! Bizarre, but funny. I'm sure the people at the resort this weekend thought we brought pets!!

Kiss your babies

Last night, the twins and I met Michelle and Hope at Rosedale to go walking, because it was too hot outside. I decided to get going a bit early and feed the babies at the mall instead of feeding them first and then going. Good thing I did. We crossed the bridge 20 minutes before it collapsed....both Michelle and I had our precious babies on that bridge. Playing the "what-if" game is dumb, so I'm trying not to do it. I'm so blessed that the babies are healthy and happy and able to cry when they are fussy and spit up when they are full and smile when they recognize familiar faces. It's unbelievable to me how fast we start taking things for granted. Eric and I have been blessed with these babies for just four months, and I was already getting into a routine with them, forgetting to marvel at everything new they do. Forgetting to remember that they are miracles, gifts from God. Forgetting to remember that babies cry and it's OK. Forgetting to remember that for every hour of no sleep, there are 10 hours of wonderfulness....kiss your babies!

Four-month update

The twins had their 4-month well baby visits yesterday. Big news (yes the pun was intended). They are both officially chubby! I didn't even know "chubby" was an official classification...I'm learning things everyday with the twins!
Addison weighs 15 pounds, 12 ounces and 24.5 inches long. Sheʼs in the 90th percentile for weight and the 75th percentile for height. Jackson weighs 14 pounds, 12 ounces and 24.25 inches long. He's around the 50th percentile for both weight and height. Surprisingly, their heads are the same size! That means Jacksonʼs head is bigger from front to back and Addison's is bigger from side to side.
Dr. Robinovitch said they have caught up to normal 4 month olds. Eric and I keep forgetting that they are preemies. But they are doing very well.
Jackson's belly button is much better...it no longer sticks out. He still has the stork bite on his forehead, but the doc says, as his skin thickens, it will disappear.
Addison has a pretty large birthmark that stretches from her thigh to her toes on her right leg. Dr. R said it is a vascular something or other....he's hoping it will disappear on it's own, but, after we told him that Greta (Eric's sister's daughter) has a birthmark that required several laser treatments, he was a bit more concerned because these things can be hereditary. So, at our 6-month appt., we are going to see if we need to move forward with a plastic surgeon. We're hopeful that it will take care of itself.
The twins had more immunizations and now, with such big crocodile tears, it was harder for mommy than it was at their two-month appointments. The nurse said it was the first time in 10 years of giving babies shots that she started to get choked up at a baby who was crying...geez, guess Jackson has already learned from his daddy how to turn on the charm with the ladies.
I guess we are feeding them more than we need to be, since they did some major catch-up growing these last two months. Who knew? Eric and I just assumed we were feeding them as best we knew how. No harm done though. We havenʼt ruined our practice kids (Grammonaʼs term for first borns).
Dr. R said we're doing a good job and we look like we are having fun for the most part.
We asked him about rice cereal to help them sleep through the night consistently and he said that was an old wives tale...rice cereal only works in 1 of 100 babies, PLUS, one teaspoon of cereal has more calories than a teaspoon of formula, and our kids don't need more calories...funny!
But, he said, when they wake up during the night, we don't have to feed them....which never occurred to me!!! And he said, since they've demonstrated that they can sleep through the night, it should help me not worry to let them cry and hopefully go back to sleep on their own (yeah right Dr. R....me, not worry!?!?!?)
We took them, and cousin Selena, to the Como Zoo yesterday after their appointments. Jackson was awake the whole time, and Addison was asleep with her little sun hat on. The animals were apparently boring her. It was fun to take them there.
So, last night was my big test. They each woke up once. I went into the nursery and gave them their nuks and they cried for a bit and then went back to sleep....not sure if the baby Tylenol helped mom out or not....but they woke up at 6:30 this morning...as smiley as ever.
I must say that they are getting more fun by the day!!! It's getting harder for me to leave for work in the morning...I cried this morning when I left them. They are truly little miracles and I can't imagine our lives without them. They bring us so many things.....joy, frustration, challenges, fun, happiness, sadness, and more love. It's pretty indescribable, so I don't know why I keep trying to find the words.

Little Houdini

So, Jackson has learned a fun little trick. We put him in the crib at night with his head under the mobile. When we go in to get him in the morning, he's completely turned around so his feet are under the mobile...and he's smiling SO big, like, "See what I can do? Aren't you proud!"

Addison, on the other hand, is going through a bit of a rough patch. She won't drink her bottle at night and she cries for an hour and then just crashes. I tried to catch her before she started crying last night, but that didn't work...she still took an hour to drink half of her bottle and then I just put her in her crib and she cried herself to sleep. I just don't know what to do with her.

Thankfully, they have their 4-month appts. on Monday. Maybe we can get some answers.

Two days and counting

So, Eric and I were wondering if the whole sleeping-through-the-night thing was a fluke....well, it wasn't! Night #2, they slept from around 9 p.m. to 5:30 this morning. We fed them when I got up for work and then they went right back to sleep. And Addison is definitely a thumb-sucker!!! It's SO cute....but I wonder how cute it will be if she's still doing it in 10 years.....one day at a time.
Jackson LOVES the turtle that's attached to his crib. It plays music and lights up. When I was in the nursery this morning, he was grabbing it. It's fun to watch them be so engaging.
BUT last night, Addison was miserable! She had a screaming fit for an entire hour!!!!!! I didn't know what to do. All I kept thinking was what our doctor told us. "Crying will only become an issue if they do it for 3 hours without being able to be soothed." Nothing I did soothed her. She has a yeast infection, which didn't help. But she would NOT eat her bottle either. I just didn't know what to do! Finally, she just cried herself silly and she was so tired, she just fell asleep. I was afraid to go into the nursery this morning, for fear that she'd start waling....but, she smiled at me. And in the one smile, the memory of the whole screaming hour from last night just faded away.

Sleeping through the Night

This morning, when I woke up for work at 6 a.m. it occured to me that I didn't get up to feed the twins in the middle of the night. So I nudged Eric, thinking he fed them and let me sleep. Well, he was thinking the same thing of me! We then realized that they slept through the night!!!!! He went in to check on them, and they were both fine. We were in a dazed, stunned state...we just couldn't believe that they slept through the night. We're hoping it's not a one-time thing and that, a week before their 4-month mark, they have settled in and will be sleeping through all nights now....I'm sure I'll know tomorrow!!!!

Thumb Sucking

Early this morning, at 2:45 a.m. I headed into the nursery to grab the twins to feed them, and I picked up Jackson first, because he was crying the loudest. As I was changing him, I glanced into Addison's crib and she was sucking her thumb! It was so cute. She had her four fingers straight up so they were covering her nose...it was pretty awkward, but she finally got it down. She's been staring at her hand for a couple weeks now. It's like she's been trying to figure out how in the world to get that thumb into her mouth...she finally did it!!! Maybe she's decided it's better than the NUK....so what do we do with the 10,000 NUKs we have.....Mmmmmm

Addison the Ham and Mr. Wiggles

So, last night, Amy and Stacey came over for dinner and we took a walk with the twins. After the walk, Addison was all smiles! I think she has figured out that the more she smiles, the more of a reaction she gets from other people. She really turned on the charm at bedtime and almost distracted mommy enough to let her stay up after her brother went to bed....almost.
She's a tricky one!
So is Jackson....if I'm not careful, he'll wiggle his way right out of my grasp! He will sit in the ExerSaucer now and watch all of the toys attached to it. He had even started to grab at things, which is really fun. He still drools like it's the newest cool thing to do....but he still has a smile that melts my heart!

Twins' Baptism

The baptism was pretty awesome (As you can see in the photos, it took a lot out of the twins). Jackson and Addison are very blessed with a loving church family and a very supportive biological family. The twins had lots of people come to celebrate with them at church yesterday, including Uncle Marcus and Auntie Shelly who are their Godparents. Jackson wore Eric's baptismal gown and Addison wore Selena's, so that was really special too. They were so good during the ceremony. When Pastor Luke presented them to the congregation, Addison just grinned and in true Jackson form, he urped! It's all caught on tape, thank to Sashi (who Eric and I have dubbed Super Nanny)!

The one funny thing is that, for some reason, Pastor Luke kept saying Jakowski instead of Zajkowsi....Eric joked that when Addison and Jackson get to Heaven, God will say, "Nope. I'm not seeing a Zajkowski, but I do have an Addison and Jackson Jakowski." It was funny.

The men of the church presented Jackson and Addison with faith chests. Each chest, hand made by Rudy Ross, has a plaque on the top with their names, then, "Dedicated to God on July 15, 2007. I added the shoes that Grandma Lois gave them with their name and birthdate, and I added Selena's baptismal gown to Addison's box (Lena has the one Jackson wore). Wilma said a special prayer for them.

They ceremony was more overwhelming than I thought it would be, but in a strange way, it was such a blessing because I realized that the pressure is off Eric and me a little bit because Addison and Jackson truly belong to God, and we are just helping Him out.

Day at the Beach

Addison's new trick

Addison learned this weekend, that if she pees on all of her clothes when we are at the Mall of America, mommy and daddy have to buy her brand-new clothes because we can't have a naked baby!

Eric said, "If she learns this at 3 months, can you imagine what she'll do at 14?"

The Twins - An Update

It's truly amazing to me how much the twins have changed since they were born three months ago. It seems they change so fast now. Each day, there is something new and fun!

Addison, who spent the first 11 weeks of her life in hysterics, has finally settled in! She is so pleasant and very smiley!!!!! I still find myself waiting for the screams, but they are fewer and farther between these days. She even lays on her back now! It's such a difference. She was passed around at Grandma Lois's 4th of July brunch and she was so content and bright eyed with everyone who held her...until she had had enough and fell asleep. She only screams now when she needs something. It's so neat to see her progressing! She studies objects and people with her big brown eyes and she goes to sleep so well at night now too....I find myself asking, "Who is this precious girl?!?!" When I put her in the crib, I just turn on the turle, and one spin of the mobile, and she's out! She still absolutely hates having her clothes changed though!! She screams at the top of her lungs when any article of clothing touches her head, which TOTALLY freaks me out!!!!

They both LOVE bath time with daddy (mommy thinks they are still too slippery to enjoy it) and they love having their diapers changed! They just smile and smile and smile. Jackson loves to pee on himself right when mommy or daddy take his diaper off....will we ever learn??? They also love riding in the car and in the stroller.

Jackson has turned into Mr. Fussy, and Mr. Wiggles. He seems to be crying a LOT more these days. He's having a lot of trouble pooping, which makes him quite unhappy. We have done the pear juice thing, the sorbitol thing and the baby laxative thing....which causes projectile pooping, dry heaves from mommy and laughter from daddy. And, Jackson drools! Good thing I read in a book that drooling was normal, otherwise I would be worried....or should I say more worried than I normally am. The front of his outfits are all very wet by the end of the day, especially when mom forgets to put a bib on him. He flails around a lot too....but he still has a smile that melts my heart. I just wish I saw it more these days. He doesn't go to sleep well anymore either. It takes him a couple hours, yes, hours! to settle in at bedtime. He fights it SO much!!! He'll learn later in life that sleep is a good thing, and there's no point in fighting it. But for now, I just rock him until he falls asleep, and if daddy is at work, he gets to have special cuddle time with mommy in the big bed....SHHH!!!! Don't tell daddy!!!

All, in all, we have hit a stride in week 14. They are on a schedule mostly. They eat at 7 a.m., 11 a.m. 2 p.m. 5 p.m. around 8 p.m. and 2 a.m. They take an official afternoon nap in their cribs and they cat nap throughout the rest of the day. Daddy loves staying home with them still....which is SO fun for me to see.

Mommy and daddy still aren't getting much sleep, but we are still being kind to each other and taking time to say I love You. What more can I ask for.

Secret Society

So, my friend Lynnea sent me pictures of herself yesterday. She's pregnant, due in July and she looks so happy.
I enjoy seeing happy pregnant woman, even though I was NOT one of them.
It's weird.
It's like I was part of the club, but not really, like I was given a partial membership....I still see happy pregnant women and wonder what is their secret. I mean, why didn't I get full membership??!?! I went through everything they did....twice over, and they still didn't give me the secret handshake or the key to the clubhouse. It's frustrating!

Smiling Faces

This weekend was jammed packed for the twins. It was their first trip to a garage sale, their first trip to Rockford, their first trip to the beach, their first trip to a parade and the first picture on the blog of both of them smiling! Rachel Yakesh is magic, just like Janel, because she got them both to smile!
We went to the beach with Grammona, Kyla and Juliana. Eric got into the water with Jackson who seemed to be having a ball!
I was so nervous the entire time because I kept thinking they were going to get sick because of germs. I was such a "new mom." And both Eric and Grammona were joking at me (not with me) about it, which didn't help. Addison did NOT enjoy the water. She was much happier sitting on Grammona's lap in her adorable sun hat.
We took them to the Gay Pride Parade on Sunday and they slept through the whole thing, until the very end when a fire truck came by and blasted its horn right in front of us! Jackson started to scream!! Addison barely opened her eyes....just enough to reposition herself and fall back to sleep.

What to expect....

O.K....I KEEP getting daily email updates from What to Expect When You're Expecting. I've tried to send them to my spam folder, but it ain't workin'.
And let me tell you....I don't know who these women are that write these little nuggets of misinformation, but nothing that I expected to happen, did! I totally feel tricked by the little, soothing emails I used to read. They gave me a false sense of hope that mothering was a breeze!!!! Granted, none of the emails applied to twins, but they still made it all seem pretty darn rosy to me!
But...I guess to some women, it really is that rosy. I guess I've had rosy days, but I have come to the realization that it's O.K. to admit that it's not easy. I'm no superwoman and I can admit that....
I do remember the look on a woman's face when she asked me if I just loved being a mom and I said to her, "Some days. But it's a ton of work." She looked at me with disappointment and told me not to be so honest......funny, huh?

Guinness the genius

Eric and I always ask each other questions about the babies...from, "Should we give them 5 ounces this feeding?" to, "Is it OK if Jackson didn't poop today?" to, "Should we sterilize the bottle nipples or is washing them just fine?" Neither of us know the answe rto any of them.
But we found a solution: ask Guinness!!!
So we're deferring to Guinness now. Instead of snapping at each other with "How the heck would I know!", we just say, "Mmm, I don't know. Good question. Guinness?"
And that seems to lighten the mood.

Smile

Last week...or maybe the week before, Jackson started to smile! I had NO idea that this little, 11 pound person, could make my heart melt with a little grin! And, in that little grin, all the stress and anger I was feeling at the moment just simply disappeared and the world seemed so pure. And I never thought I would act like a crazy person to try to get him to do it again and again and again! It's the coolest thing ever!!!

Pictures from Easter

These photos are old now...from Easter. but I just found them and they are too cute not to post!
Uncle Shane holding Jackson
A very happy Juliana holding Jackson
Juliana holding Addison
All of Grammona and Papa Bear's grandchildren

First Sunday in Church

This was the twins first Sunday in church. Wilma is holding Jackson and Carolyn is holding Addison.

Grandparents

Grammona holding the twins in the first photo and Papa Bear and Grammona holding the twins at cousin Paul's house during Memorial Day weekend in the second....I love this photo (I can't figure out why they are so blurry).

Beach Baby

Cousin Selena holding the twins.

This is a hand-me-down swimsuit from Auntie Shelly....too cute!!!

Happy Mother's Day

For my first Mother's Day, I got a Type I diabetes diagnosis. YIPPEE!!!! I can say this in jest now, but that day, when Dr. Mucha told me the blood-sugar spike wasn't just a blip, or Type II diabetes, but that my own immune system killed the cells in my pancreas that make insulin and they can NOT be repaired, I wasn't so happy. I was pretty much in a funk actually. I pretty much had a "poor me" weekend. I kept thinking that life isn't fair. Then I thought, who in the hell said life was fair way back in the beginning? Because all my life, I've always heard that life isn't fair...well, who said it would be?

I digress.

But I'm learning to live with the 10 finger pricks and 4 insulin injections each day.

The first injection took me 20 minutes. I just wasn't prepared to inflict pain on myself. I started with the syringe way in the air with my left hand while holding a chunck of belly fat with my right hand. I darn-near harpooned myself. Eric was just sitting there, hoping I wouldn't thrust the needle through my stomach.....Again, it's something I can laugh at now, but at the time, I was SO not laughing.

Eric thinks it's fun to check his blood sugar...like it's a game. He'll go for a 13-mile run and then check it. Of course, it's still well within the range it should be, but he gets a kick out of it.
I don't....not yet.

Thankfully the twins are healthy, as is Eric.

Someone told me all this stuff I'm been going through builds character, so..um...I'm good in the "character" department.

Anyway, here's a quasi- family photo....funny!!!! We keep meaning to get professional photos of the babies...but there just doesn't seem to be enough time!

Maybe breastfeeding is the best...

I ONLY say that because, when both parents are exhausted, reading directions to mix formula is hazardous!
Last night, Eric went to mix a new pitcher of formula, since we go through about 2 quarts a day. Unbeknownst to him, I switched the one-cup measure he was using to a 1/2-cup measure because it fit in the formula can. So, he mixed two quarts, but used only half the amount of formula.
The kids didn't sleep as well last night and I wondered why. I was frustrated that they were crying after two hours.
This morning, Eric and I realized the error, but we were out of that kind of formula, so I couldn't just add a cup of the mix and feed the hungry kids.
So, I went to make bottles from a different formula, and I spilled the entire container onto the kitchen counter!!!!! Eric heard me spew some expletives from where he was in the bedroom and, smartly, he decided to just let me deal with it.
Good thing!
By the time I got two, 4-ounce bottles made, I had gone through an entire can of powdered formula, the shirt I was wearing, and 1/2 a roll of paper towels.
But, dang it, those kids were fed and they were happy!!!
Gotta look at the big picture (SMILE!!)
And, most importantly, Eric and I LAUGHED about it!!!!

Confusion

So, last Saturday, Gramona was over while Eric was at work and Addison, bless her heart, wet through all of the pink sleepers.
So, around 3 a.m. Gramona put her in a blue sleeper and wrapped her in a blue blanket. When Eric got home around 4, he was tired and Gramona handed a hungry Addison to him and before she left, she said to him, "Here's Addison. Jackson is in bed with Nicole."
But a very tired Eric only saw all the blue and as he sat down to feed "the child," he told it all about baseball and how he and mommy would come watch "him play, and how "he" was going to be a pitcher....etc...etc....
Well, when Eric went to change "the child" after he fed it, he took the diaper off and said, "Jackson, where's your penis?"
At that point, he realized it was Addsion and that he needed much more sleep!

Rock Stars

The hats are from the Ross family and the cool sunglasses are from Gracia and Gayle. Addison and Jackson wore them on their first walk with Gramona. And we ran into the whole neighborhood it seemed. Gramona knows EVERYONE....but everybody said how cute the twins were, so that was really fun!

On Saturday, Rachel Crushshon hosted a shower at her house, along with Arlis. It was so sweet. It was women from church and I really felt like it was a family of people. I felt like these are people who have been praying for the twins long before they were born. I just felt so much support. And I was able to talk a little bit to Gayle, who I feel is a kindred spirit of mine. I feel like she knows exactly how I feel as a mom, and I didn't even have to say the words...she just understood.

I can't believe how time and again I am so overwhelmed by the kindness of others. Rachel's house was so cute in pink and blue for the twins and the food looked awesome!!! Melissa was there with Mathias and he is SO big! It just struck me that he is so healthy after all his mama went through. Babies are truly miracles.

Diaper Genie Boa

Again....dad hasn't had any sleep and he thought it would be fun to wear the diaper genie innards as a boa....it did make mommy laugh.....I must admit.

Photos

Addison, stressed out because she's wondering if her mommy will remember to feed her.

Dad and Jackson at Easter dinner,

and dad...a little loopy from lack of sleep!

Update after DKA

So, last Friday night, at around midnight, I started to vomit. Luckily Gramona was over taking care of the twins while Eric was at work. I knew I didn't feel good. I hadn't felt good since the twins were born, but I didn't know what was wrong.
That morning, I took Addison to the doctor because she had diarrhea...and I was SO thirsty all day. I drank so much and I could NOT quench my thirst. I must have had 10 frescas and Cherry Coke Zeros and a gallon of water and juice. It was ridiculous.
Anyway, my mom thought I was sick and just kept taking care of the twins until Eric got home from work.
When Eric got home about 4 a.m. I was still vomiting. He thought it was food poisoning. But, when, at 11 a.m. and I was still vomiting, he decided it wasn't food poisoning and he rushed me to the emergency room.
Good thing.
My blood sugar was well above 800. A normal blood sugar is between 80-120. I was admitted to the ICU and was pumped full of insulin for a couple days and my blood sugar was checked every hour. I had a chest x-ray and an ultrasound on my kidneys, liver and gall bladder. They weren't sure what what going on...lots of head scratches from the doctors. But once they got me hydrated and got the blood sugar numbers down into the 300s, they started making educated guesses.
No one is for sure if this incident, called DKA, is directly connected to the pregnancy, but I know it is. They started treating me for both Type I and Type II diabetes, because they don't know what will happen in a month or so when hopefully things in my body calm down. I was released on Tuesday night and saw another doctor on Thursday morning. She thinks my pancreas was attacked and because that's the organ that makes insulin, something went awry there. She's hopeful it will get better. At this point, I choose to believe her.
The last week has been really tough for me. All alone at night in the hospital last week, I thought for the first time that I was going to die. I just couldn't take any more of anything. I thought I had no fight left in me.
I started getting angry at Eric for wanting children because never in my history did I think I would be a mom. And I started getting angry at the twins for making me so sick. I wondered if I could ever love them. I started getting very "poor me."
I even wrote a letter to the twins in case I died.
I wanted them to know that I tried to love them the best I could, but I really wasn't given a chance to do that. I wanted them to know that I loved their daddy very much and I waited a long time for God to bring us together so we could start a family. I wanted them to know that they have lots of family and friends who pray for them and who love them and who will help their daddy raise them.
I wanted them to know that I wanted to be the kind of mother that always encouraged them in whatever they wanted to do. I wanted them to know that when things seem really bad, they will get better and life is mostly good. I wanted them to know that smiles heal most everything, as do hugs.
I wanted them to know that if all else fails, find Papa Bear and Gramona.
If you have a problem you can't work out by yourself, talk to Papa Bear. He'll listen without judgment and he'll help you figure out a plan. If that doesn't work, I wanted to tell them to crawl into Gramona's lap and she'll rock your troubles away. And she'll tell you about your mommy because she knows me.
BUT...I know I'm not going to die. And I know I can get through all of this. It's just way more than I bargained for and with my hormones, etc. still out of whack, I'm just not bouncing back as fast as usual.
I fed both twins yesterday morning, when Eric was trying to get some sleep after work and it was the first time that I only felt tired; physically and mentally I felt good. I told each of them that I loved them, and I think it was the first time I truly meant it.
My life seems so different from when this whole pregnancy began. I remember nine months ago thinking the worst thing I'd have to deal with was my nose getting bigger and stretch marks. I can only smile now at how silly that seems.
When I see pregnant women, I no longer have this happy feeling inside. It's mostly just dread of what could happen to their lives. But I'm sure, as time goes forward, that, too, will change.
I can NOT begin to thank all the people who helped take shifts with the twins. We are truly blessed. I can't repay everyone right now. But know I'll try.
But for now, I'm happy that I can check my blood sugar and give myself insulin shots and feel pretty good, knowing that I can do it, but I don't have to do it alone. I have an amazing husband who has been my rock. I thank God for him daily. I asked him if he regrets marrying me and having the twins. He looked at me like I was crazy and he said, "I took my wedding vows seriously."
Life if good. Right now, it's just a little annoying.

We are all home together

So, it seems like an eternity since I've seen my blog. So much has happened. Jackson Ellsworth (my grandfather's name and my dad's middle name) and Addison Lois (Eric's mom's name) were born via C-section on March 28, 2007. Addison came first, and weighed in at 5 lbs. 10 ozs. Jackson was close behind and weighed in at 6 lbs, 1/2 oz. They were very healthy and didn't have to go on any breathing apparatus...I think. I'm not sure. I don't even know how long they were. I had a terrible time with it all.
Eric and I joke now that we didn't exactly pray for the right thing. We prayed only for two healthy babies. We forgot about mama. I was very sick during the C-section and also during the recovery. Two days after they were born, I developed preeclampsia, and had to go to a special recovery floor. The babies were in Eric's care and he was phenomenal. I stayed there for two days with an IV to try to bring down my blood pressure. It was pretty scary. On the sixth day, we were able to come home, but there was no rest on the seventh day.
It's all mostly a blur. People came to the hospital and I don't even remember talking to them.

The day we left the hospital, I remember thinking specifically that the world had changed so much in a week. It didn't seem so safe to me and I was instantly wondering how we were going to raise these children in this world. Eric drove so carefully on the way home as we both realized the weight of twins...the responsibility....the love...the challenges....the crying...the feedings....the scheduling.

It's very overwhelming to me, a first-time mom. My hormones are so out of whack and I cry at the drip of water it seems. Everyone says things will get easier. I believe them.

Eric worked last night and Gramona came over and saved the day! I was a wreck, but she kept things together for me.

One of a hundred million things I've learned this week is that moms are amazing people. I have gained so much respect for my mom. I'm 31 and she's still saving the day for me. When she had Marcus and me, her mom wasn't there to save the day for her. She's so strong and wonderful. I'm so blessed that Jackson and Addison will have time with her and Papa Bear, just like Selena, Juliana and Kyla.

And we are blessed to have Gramma Lois too. Eric said these two have the best grammas and grandpa in all the land. I have to agree.

Eric and I feel so blessed to have awesome family and friends and people that pray for us and the new family. Everytime someone has called to ask how things are going, they don't seem to mind that I'm crying as I say, "OK." Seems everyone has been there before.

So, here's to the new journey....the continuance of learning, the forgiveness of mistakes, the love of God and the joys of children.

Plan B...or C...or D

So, last Friday, Eric and I went in for our routine doctor appt. with Dr. Kamsheh. I was up at about 5 a.m. with these pains every few minutes. I felt nauseus and just yucky. So I just sat around, waiting for the appt. at 10 a.m. It felt like FOREVER!!!!
I told Dr. Kamsheh that I thought I was having contractions. He checked my cervix (OWWWW!!) and I was dialated to one. So he hooked me and the babies up to monitors, and sure enough, (like Old Faithful as Eric said), the contractions were coming every five minutes. Dr. Kamsheh sent us to the hospital.
SIDEBAR: I was pretty freaked out on the way to the hospital. Not in the mood for jokes. But apparently, my husband stole some latex gloves at the clinic. So he turns to me and says, "Don't worry. If we don't make it, I can deliver the babies...as he's now driving with the bright purple latex gloves on......that's my baby!!!
Once at the hospital, they hooked me up to more monitors...and I kept having contractions. Note: to those people who told me they didn't even know they were having contractions...YOU ARE CRAZY!!!! I felt them and they are not pleasant.
The OB doctor on call, who was wonderful, said the only way she could tell if I was, in fact, in labor, or just contracting, was to check my cervix. It was still at one, so she sent me home with pain medication. And for the first time in months, I actually slept! It was wonderful! The contractions stayed constant until Saturday morning and I've been having them intermittently since then.
And I was literally in bed until yesterday afternoon, when we were supposed to have the amnio done.
Well, long, complicated story short, we did NOT have the amnio yesterday. We decided to move the C-section date to April 4. But if God wants me to have them sooner, then I will...just not with Dr. Kamsheh.
We did have an ultrasound yesterday though, and the babies are HUGE! Almost 7 pounds each! No wonder if hurts to even move! One is 6 pounds, 12 ounces, the other is 6 pounds, 15 ounces!!! So, I have about 14 pounds of baby in my belly. And I've gained 82 pounds now.
Needless to say, I'm not a happy camper and I had a complete and utter breakdown yesterday, after all the madness. Eric is great, and we worked through all of the scariness we are both feeling. It's just so hard to be in this "not know" stage.
I know most mothers-to-be are very confident and happy and stress free, but this is the most frightening time in my life. I just want these babies to be healthy and I want them to stay in until their lungs are developed and I want everything with the C-section to go well, and I want to be able to see my belly button when I look down.
So, as of today, I have a week and day before their birthday. I'll keep praying.